Tuesday, October 30, 2007

some niceness..

I met a nice person yesterday, for lack of a better description. I just haven’t ran into a complete stranger who responded like this person did. Scene: the bathroom. My son had bumped into another kid at the birthday party and was bleeding from digging his tooth on his lip. He was in shock because he could see all the blood coming out and he kept spitting saliva and blood. So I was trying to be comforting in the bathroom, ignoring other users and trying to clean up my son’s mouth making sure he did not have a more serious injury. This lady, while washing her hands, noted my predicament and offered to get some ice if I needed it. A minute later she was back with a cup of ice and she had asked the restaurant staff for a waterproof cloth so I could put the ice in it. I was happy that someone had been so thoughtful and it helped ease my son’s pain and bleeding. She actually stood with me for the next 5 or so minutes in the bathroom, getting tissues and waiting for the bleeding to subside. She was so helpful and so good at reassuring my son that he would be ok. After my son was feeling better she introduced herself and happened to be one of the host’s friends. I had seen her earlier but she was sited at a different table, she also asked if we would join them since they now had more space at their table. If you have been to one of these parties, you know they can be pretty hectic, loud and full of hyperactive kids.
What I thought would be just another birthday party for my son to enjoy turned out to be quite the enjoyable evening for all where I met some pretty cool people. The lady at the bathroom; she works with kids, counseling, what a fitting career! Even more, the group I met attends a church that I have been contemplating visiting and now I will.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

my truth

The journey toward our beauty is a magnificent struggle. Achieving an integrity between what we believe and how we live is a challenge worthy of the gift of life. A thousand obstacles stand between our selves and the honoring of our truth. A thousand distractions. A thousand ego-generated delusions. The quality of our life depends on how we confront those obstacles. That is what Joseph Campbell described as the hero's journey -- the journey towards our greater self. That journey takes so much courage. That journey fascinates me. To dive down, find the beauty, nurture it and offer it to the world is magnificent. The more unique what you have to offer is, the more indifferent the world is likely to be for a long, long time. Staying with your beauty, your truth, your integrity is difficult, but out of these things comes meaning, and meaning is all-transcendent.
– Rod MacIver, HERON DANCE Journal
Notes, Issue 19

I'm pondering the thoughts above, because in the past years and at present I have had to examine what I really believe in and balance it with how I really live. I'm disappointed sometimes at how hard it is to find this balance. That I believe strongly in a lot of things that I don't execute or don't execute to the degree that I consider necessary. I really want my actions to match my faith. And why is it so difficult to do what I really want to do? I think Paul in the Bible had the same dilemma. My dilemma is that I'm still weeding out trying to differentiate and redefine my truth, not according to my family or my religious upbringing but coming from a place where I understand who I am, why I do what I do and embracing that with pure clarity to free my movement forward.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

some bs is going on

How can one day start so filled with love and crash with a midday email so reminiscent of hate? Why do both good and bad have to coexist? The hell with balance and all the nature laws. Someone is trying to fuck with me and fuck with my future and I'm pissed!I have tried to be patient, no as a matter of fact I have been very patient. I thought I had already won the battle but in a manner that can just be described as plain malicious, they are always trying to find a way to get to me and if that wasn't enough play it off like they are a friend and (drum roll)...fellow christian!! I have had enough of this BS. I just needed to vent. Thats all. I think I'm going to be ok.

I feel loved

A thousand words could never express
this feeling
this comfort
this assurance

You have changed my world in excess
of my imagination
my expectations
my dreams

I cherish the friendship we possess
that nurtures
that’s honest
that’s real

So I’m writing to confess
my love
my happiness
my contentment

when I’m with you and even
when you’re not near

I feel absolutely loved