Sometimes I wonder if my life will ever be different or will forever be haunted by my past, if I will ever be independent of the decisions that I made when I was naïve and didn’t know better, If one day I can sit and not think of the why. Will it just ever be a move forward, a new chapter, the old one forgotten and insignificant?
Sometimes I cry thinking of the hardships I have had to endure the past few years. They cut to the essence of my being, completely tore me apart, left me vulnerable, rock bottom.
Sometimes I imagine how things would have been different. If I would have made it big, If I would be living elsewhere, if I would have gone back home, if I would be happy?
Most times nowadays I’m amazed at how far I have come, how much I have grown, how many people have been by side, how God can do amazing things.
Most times I hate to imagine that I would be living elsewhere, not knowing the people I know now, not knowing the love that surrounds me, not being the confident woman I am.
At all times, I am thankful for the lessons learned, the friendships formed, the knowledge and experience of being downright hopeless and gaining courage to rise to a better day.
