Friday, July 15, 2011

Choose to love

It’s a funny thing about love
We dream about it
Write songs about it
Go chasing after it
Sometimes in the wrong places
Most times with the wrong people
But almost always
Unprepared for what we might find
Not without, but within ourselves
Unprepared to be vulnerable,
Unprepared to not be right
Unprepared to love and to be loved
It’s a funny thing about love
To welcome it
We must discard the fantasies
Accept to be vulnerable
Accept to forgive
Accept ourselves
Then and only then will we discover
That love has always been around us
Waiting a prepared heart
That chooses to love

Thursday, July 7, 2011

I will make it today

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Maria Robinson

One of the hardest things in life is making that first move, drawing that first line, flipping to that new chapter. We may have gone through much planning or even agony to come up with precisely what we need to do. Sometimes we stay where we are even with that knowledge, mostly because of fear. We are afraid of leaving the chapter we are in, however uncomfortable, however painful, however meaningless. It could be fear of the unknown, fear about what others are going to say, fear of failure; so we are paralyzed and accept less than. We rationalize in our heads that we are good because we know what we need to do; we just need to set a perfect time to do it, with the perfect person, in the perfect season. In the meantime, days turn into years and the energy dwindles, while the pain, the meaninglessness and the discomfort increase. Life happens adding to the complexity, and the perfect time, person, season does not come. We ignore that inner voice and suppress our faith. Sometimes we realize this futility and move, many times we wait until it all becomes too much to handle, and right at the breaking point we may make that step. That one step may be all we needed. Then we wonder why we waited so long to set ourselves free.

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."
Hebrew 11:1 (NIV)

“But forget all that—it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland."
Isaiah 43:18-19 (NLT)

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Life's roadmap


"The unexamined life is not worth living." ~ Socrates.

I have been thinking lately about life and how we progress, grow. One of the things that has helped me figure myself out is writing. I write whenever, wherever I can. Sometimes out of the blue I will read something I wrote years ago and I might laugh, cry or be inspired. I can laugh at all the craziness that I have gone through and the mistakes I’ve made, sometimes those same things sadden me but ultimately I’m thankful because I can see how much I’ve grown. Sometimes I see that I’m struggling with the same thing, maybe in a different way and it upsets me because I should know better, and it gives me determination to work on it. It’s like I have created a map for myself: go here, don’t turn there, cliff waiting, don’t give into that, be more patient here, trust God more…and the list goes on.

Reading about myself helps me examine who I am and face the truth: good, bad, or ugly. I don’t claim that I always address what needs to be fixed heck sometimes I’m going in circles and hitting the same bump over and over. This is when I'm most frustrated with myself! The process of self-examination however continues to help me uncover who I am and where I want to be. The past has really been instrumental in making who I am today. I have learnt from my many mistakes. Wouldn’t I like to forget you ask? I read somewhere that there is a reason the windshield is bigger than the rearview mirror. When we look at what we left behind, it should be but a glimpse of what we have left behind, we should not dwell on it. We have the whole journey ahead of us. Sometimes, I dwell on the past way too much and then I’m hitting things on the road I could have avoided. Then I know I need to adjust my attitude and keep my eyes on the road. If we narrowly missed a deer, we should be on the lookout ahead. We are more alert at what life can throw at us, because we have been through it. We can look in the rear and learn from our victories, they give us confidence that we can be successful and whatever accomplishments we have had, we can kick it up a notch.

Last night I read a post where I had written about what a particularly wonderful day I had had. Looking back at my life that year, I cannot even possibly imagine that there were any happy days, not to mention it was in the middle of winter which to me might as well be renamed agony! It would appear that it was just one big blur of sadness as it was one of the most stressful years of my life. But there it was- in my own writing that I was good, happy even. Things are ten times better now than they were then and I still find myself with discontent. From further reading, I figured out what I was doing then that made life happy. I was praying, I was confident about what God was doing in my life despite my misery. So I know that I need to adjust my priorities and put God where he belongs, right by me, guiding me. That is why David wrote in Psalms: "The Lord is my shepherd", because if he truly is then all we have to do is follow him, we need not be lost.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Thought for today

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”

C.S. Lewis

The man of my dreams

I have no doubt that God has a special plan for my life and the man of my dreams. So while I wait to take that step, I will prepare myself to be the woman of my man’s dreams. I have learned a few relationship lessons in life; most importantly that you cannot change someone, you can only change yourself. I pray that I may be the woman that HE wants to share his life with. Lord I have prayed so much for the man that I will share my life with so I’m writing down my thoughts about this man of my dreams.

The man I will marry is loving and compassionate. He has a big heart for people and is willing to reach out to others. He is ambitious and pursues his hearts passions while providing for his family. Although a man should be a good provider, I believe the first thing every man should give his woman is himself. So I know that I will not have to worry about other people coming into our life and dismantling, confusing, upheaving our life because we have let them.

The man I will marry will be a role model for my son. He will teach him respect and honor. Teach him patience and forgiveness. He will teach him integrity and show him that a true man loves, a true man forgives, and a true man is always there for his family in good or bad. A true man is able to step up when a situation warrants it, not cower and run away from responsibility.

The man I will marry will do everything under the sun to make sure that our relationship is working. Even when we disagree and fight, I know that the man I will marry is complete and sure about the love that we have, just as I will be. He is willing to be humble and work on the relationship, and is not afraid to ask for help if the need arises. He will put his family before himself.

The man I will marry respects my family. There will be no compromise here. I know that he will do his level best to keep things smooth.

The man I will marry will put God first as the head of the home. He will seek to be a godly man and seek wise Christian counsel. He will make sure that his family is spiritually sound.

The man I will marry will want to grow: grow in his Christian walk, grow in his character, grow old with me.

In the meantime, I will continue to work on me. To work on the woman of HIS dreams as I prepare to be with the man of my dreams.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Comfort Zone

One of my favorite things to do in the summer is attend all the free concerts in the city. Chicago has many such venues exhibit A; the beautiful Pritzker Pavilion. Now since I moved to Chicago, I attend at least 5 or more events here each summer, all free, ranging from music concerts to movies to dance workouts. It’s so wonderful to meet and make friends. Yesterday I invited a friend who has lived in this city many years before me so naturally I was thinking they have been here before. Now imagine my surprise when he stated how wonderful the place looked since it was their first time! Now call me music lover or super outgoing, the former yes, the latter, not so much but how in the freaking universe have you never been to Pritzker Pavilion!!!

This got me to thinking about how we get into the routine of things in our lives and we limit ourselves to the things we know work: same route to work, same gym, same grocery store, same restaurant, same bar. It’s a comfort zone, after all “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” right? The problem with doing just the things we know ‘work’ is we limit ourselves to the possibilities of what could be. We don’t get to see another side of things, think differently, heck we don’t even have to think. When we keep doing the same things, we just cruise on and our life plateaus into a monotonous routine and before we know it, we are old and the days have passed. Think of all the new experiences that you may be missing out if you could change up your routine today.

I love predictability, Lord knows I do. I try to plan most of the time, but one thing even I don’t understand about myself is that I love variety, spontaneity and trying new things. Call me disloyal but I don’t even stay with the same hair stylist, I have several. Sometimes when we stay in the same place for too long we don’t notice things that need fixing, things that are wrong, the stench in the corner. We just get used to the stench, the stress, the mess. Sometimes the best thing about venturing out is you discover that what you had before was the greatest thing there is out there, so you go back. But even in this instance, because you moved and learnt to appreciate what you have, the old seems like new.

Think about your relationship with God, are you in a plateau, a rut, same old prayer, same seat in church. God is calling us to get out of our comfort zone and step into his comfort zone. If we get stuck on what works for us then we limit God. If we don’t take chances we miss out on the miracles and the victories that God is waiting to perform in our life. Resolve to move from your comfort zone, take a different route, smile and give a dollar to the homeless man, say hi to that crabby co-worker you avoid, go to a different store, watch a new show, try a new recipe, talk to a struggling friend, take a chance, move your relationship with God to the next level. Don’t just pray about little things, trust God for big things, surrender the control and watch him work.

Take a step today - do something different, don’t get stuck in a rut, God wants you to open up to the possibilities and to the wonderful plans he has for your life. Let’s face it, we have little control in this world and trying to control things around us just stresses us out. If we let God, we free ourselves, experience life as he meant it for us and have joy. He alone is our comforter.

If you are in a comfort zone, which one is it, yours or Gods?

Jeremiah 29:11: For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.