tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-45143254662171523122024-03-07T03:58:17.912-06:00set freeI know but one freedom and that is freedom of the mind -Antoine de Saint-Exuperyshizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934317427556304168noreply@blogger.comBlogger166125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514325466217152312.post-70323396822298942242014-05-02T08:37:00.001-06:002014-05-02T08:40:39.317-06:00Grace abounds<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<![endif]--><i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Mortify:
</span></i><span class="ssens"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i>to destroy the strength, vitality, or
functioning of </i></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> (gotta love some old English words)</span></div>
<span class="ssens"></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></i><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I have been battling
some anger over some things that happened in the past. Even though I know I
have been set free, there are moments that strike me and cause fear and anger
over some of the decisions I have made. Now, I know I can’t change the past but
when these thoughts come into my head, I start to doubt myself over what I’m
doing right now. I start to wonder if I really can do better. Fear of failure
is a very present monster that I struggle with. Which makes me sometimes- heck
most times a very intense, super intentional person.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Yet I believe with
everything in me, that God’s grace is sufficient and that there is no condemnation
for those in him. The Bible is also clear in Matthew 26:7 “Can any of you
by worrying add a single hour to your life?” If I’m being honest with myself, I
have a few root causes to deal with: pride (how could I have done that?), worry
(what if…). We all want to believe that we are better than the reality. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">John Owen again:</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">How can we possibly believe the promises concerning Heaven,
immortality, and glory, when we do not believe the promises concerning our
present life? And how can we be trusted when we say we believe these promises
but make no effort to experience them ourselves? It is just here that men
deceive themselves. It is not that they do not want the Gospel privileges of
joy, peace and assurance, but they are not prepared to repent of their evil
attitudes and careless life-styles. Some have even attempted to reconcile these
things and ruined their souls. But without the diligent exercise of the grace
of obedience, we shall never enjoy the graces of joy, peace and assurance.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let no man think to
kill sin with few, easy, or gentle strokes. He who hath once smitten a serpent,
if he follow not on his blow until it be slain, may repent that ever he began
the quarrel. And so he who undertakes to deal with sin, and pursues it not
constantly to the death.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">This is so sobering, and yet goes to
the root cause of my struggles. I need to get over myself and consistently go
before the Lord for daily sustenance. That is why the Bible is called our daily
bread! I can testify, when I feel like I got things in control and I’m not
surrendering to God, sooner or later things and thoughts that are unwanted
creep back in. Yet when we have sins that are recurring, we need to lay it at
the feet of Jesus until they are put to death. As is the nature of life, we
will encounter struggles. Let’s not wait until they have become such big
monsters, or reconcile with our sins or be comfortable with careless
life-styles. We are being obedient when we surrender to God, and he brings joy,
peace and assurance to every circumstance, that is a promise. Thank God for his grace that I can go to him even when I mess up over and over.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">2 Corinthians 12:9 "My grace is
sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I
will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may
rest on me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I experienced disappointment from family and friends
on something I am hoping will turn out great. Sadly I have had this on the back
of my mind for a couple days and today I let it out on my husband. Well he was
part of the disappointment. Let’s just say there has been a bit of drama and
confusion over the baby shower. I started wishing that my sister and mom were
here because none of this would happen- maybe. As I was replaying this over and
over in my head and working myself into a pretzel, I heard on radio that it was
National day of Prayer and the first prayer offered was for victims of flooding
in Romania.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">What a piece of work I am, working myself up over something
so minute in the big scheme of things! I just felt the Holy Spirit convict me.
Me, me, me is all I was thinking. Surely, I could be grateful for the shower at
church and the wonderful shower and generosity of my coworkers. Surely I could
be grateful for a wonderful pregnancy. I have been blessed with everything that
I need.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Truth is people even those closest to us will
constantly disappoint us. They are just like me, imperfect, human. When we look
to other people to fulfill a part of us, we set ourselves up for failure. Today
I was reminded of that in the midst of my whining. I seriously felt like the
Lord was saying, “Get a grip, and get in perspective!”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I was letting a minor disappointment unravel me and
dictate the trajectory of the day. Yet the needs of many people far outweigh
what mine are. I should be on my knees being grateful and praying for someone else’s
situation.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Lord I ask for forgiveness for my selfishness. Instead
of focusing on disappointments, help me to focus on you, and what you have
appointed for me today. Thank you because in you I have everything I need and
more.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Psalm 103:2-5</span></div>
<div class="lang-en" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-indent: -.5in;">
Bless the <span style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span>, O my soul, And forget not all His
benefits: </div>
<div class="lang-en" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-indent: -.5in;">
Who forgives all your
iniquities, Who heals all your diseases, </div>
<div class="lang-en" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-indent: -.5in;">
Who redeems your life
from destruction, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender</div>
<div class="lang-en" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-indent: -.5in;">
mercies, </div>
<div class="lang-en" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-indent: -.5in;">
Who satisfies your
mouth with good <em>things,</em> <em>So that</em> your youth is renewed like
the eagle’s. </div>
shizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934317427556304168noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514325466217152312.post-2430227755932252712014-04-24T09:41:00.002-06:002014-04-24T09:44:17.746-06:00Trusting<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Yesterday, K, a.k.a baby #1 threw a big tantrum.
When we got home, the hubby had make a wonderful stir-fry dinner. Now in baby
#1’s head, this was not the dinner he was expecting. After all we had had kale
the night before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have to say one of
the hardest things about raising K is his poor eating habits. He thinks he’s
doing me a favor when he eats green things. I say things because by the look on
his face you would think I was poisoning him. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Anyhow, I have learnt to ignore his grimaces and
painful expressions which last way too long for dinner. He will give a 15
minute story to avoid eating the “things”, after which he will then utter
either they are cold, or he is done or he can’t eat anymore. Ugh..and sometimes
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Yesterday however was different, since we came home
much later than usual, he didn’t have time to have a snack before dinner (which
I’m considering eliminating but that’s a whole other story). He reached for the
snack and I promptly informed him that it was already dinner time. He then did
what he always does: inspect the dinner contents. What followed, I was not
prepared for- <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>a full on back to terrible-twos
nasty cry and tantrum: “Why do we have to eat this food? It’s not good…sob…sob…I
ate greens yesterday…sob…” running to his room and sobbing. I ignored this
whole drama and when he noticed that no attention was being given, he increased
the volume…lol. This was a new tactic. Usually he doesn’t cry, just has a long
face. After few minutes of him hollering and the hubby and I laughing over this
debacle, I finally walked to his room and asked him what the problem was…you
know just in case I<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>was misreading the
situation. Nope, it was the “bad” food.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I explained, or tried to at least state that this is the food we were
eating, he might like it since it’s stir fry that he needed to calm down and be
down for dinner in 10 minutes. Some of these things, I just don’t know. Let’s
say I winged it. He came down when he realized we needed to eat so we could
watch the Bulls playoff game.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He made faces at the dinner. Then he started eating,
realizing that it was not as bad as he anticipated but of course, he wasn’t going
to admit this. Dinner was actually pleasant. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let’s just say that he finished his entire
plate. We did do a back and forth over one piece of cauliflower at the end but
I have been on the theme of not wasting food so he ate it. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The night ended well- other than the Bulls loosing
that is. I hope baby #2 eats way better...sigh.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Of course I was going to relate this to my spiritual
life! How many times do I pray for something, but when I look at what God has
provided, I pout, throw a tantrum and get mad at God for not providing what I
WANTED. Then I start to “eat” what is on the table and realize that God was
right all along. He provided just what I NEEDED. Lord help me to trust you always.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Proverbs 3:5-6</span></div>
<sup><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></sup><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Trust in the <span style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span>
with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; <sup> </sup>in
all your ways submit to him, and he will direct your paths.</span>
shizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934317427556304168noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514325466217152312.post-36176899866463176102014-04-24T09:11:00.006-06:002014-04-24T09:12:01.884-06:00Stairs<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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This morning as is habit, when I walked into the office
building, I went straight for the stairs. I have made an intentional decision
all the years I have worked here to take the stairs instead of the elevator. I
work on the second floor for crying out loud! Now that I’m carrying this heavy
load a.k.a baby #2, the stairs have become quite the challenge. I’m out of
breath every single time I get to the top! I notice that many of my co-workers
always take the elevator and they were wondering why I’m insisting on taking
the stairs, especially now. </div>
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<br /></div>
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To be honest, I’m not sure that taking stairs contributes
much to my “exercise” or lack thereof. However this morning, I was thinking
about how tempting it is to take the easy way out in many aspects of our
lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How many times do we compromise
things in our life, we forgo a bit of patience, a few seconds or minutes that
could “exercise” our being. How many times do we turn on the TV for hours when
tired or frustrated or bored, yet we can’t get 10 minutes to read the Bible,
how many times do we eat way too many cookies at work for every occasion which
seems like way too many, how many friends did we not call because we are too busy?
We could have numerous excuses for why we did not take the time to do <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>small things that could increasingly have a
big impact. </div>
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<br /></div>
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See, when you are used to taking the stairs up a couple
floors, when it comes to taking them up let’s say six floors, it doesn’t seem
that daunting of a task. Sometimes over lunch hour I will take stairs to the ninth
floor just because I want to challenge myself, see how in shape I am. LOL. I am
secretly hoping that it’s toning my legs. I have surprised myself that I have
been able to keep taking stairs in my late pregnancy but if I hadn’t started
before the baby, there is no way this would be possible. </div>
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<br /></div>
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I’m not beating on people who take elevators but this morning
as I was finishing that last weary stair this analogy came to me. It has taken deliberate
thought just like many good things in our life need to. Sometimes we are floating
through life, just doing what others are doing, or taking the easier path. Maybe
our life with God is like that, we don’t pay attention to how we are not
obeying his word and soon enough we become comfortable in taking the elevator.
We don’t do quiet time or prayer time, our time with him is elevator type of
life-short and hurried. We need to build spiritual muscles when it comes to our
relationship with God. Take deliberate steps to read his word, while it would
appear that we are too busy to do this, making time will have a lasting impact
on our day, our life and the life of those around us.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Let us take some spiritual stairs today, take the time to
contemplate God’s word. I believe God wants us to walk this journey one stair
at a time, while he guides us and molds us to reach to the height that he has prepared
for us. We can’t press buttons into growing with God, but we can take the time
to learn and listen and grow. </div>
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<br /></div>
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I’m so challenged to be more deliberate in my life because I’m
guilty of this many times. I want things to happen by pressing a few buttons:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>awesome marriage, awesome friends, awesome
kids, done…but I know more than anything God wants to grow me, so I’m surrendering
to his will and asking him to help me choose wisely what I do with my time and
talents, to be deliberate in seeking his will and serving him and others.</div>
shizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934317427556304168noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514325466217152312.post-49911822102429007952014-03-20T09:58:00.001-06:002014-03-20T09:58:07.028-06:00Parenting pilgrimage<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</xml><![endif]-->This past weekend I attended a parent seminar at our church
titled appropriately “parents on pilgrimage”. Appropriate because parenting is
a journey full of surprises, unexpected turns, growth, laughs and memories. As
a worrier (yes, I mean worrier how I wish it was warrior), I’m constantly
evaluating how my actions have impacted my child. It is a pretty heavy burden
to think that another human being’s life is dependent upon me. The “me" that
is so prone to messing up. I have made many poor decisions in my life, some
that have impacted my child negatively. It grieves me when I think of those
times and makes me feel so helpless.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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As I have grown as a mom and spiritually, I have become more
proactive in my parenting. It doesn’t mean that it has become easier, I still
mess up. Pilgrimage means that I am still in motion dealing with phases of life
that I had not encountered before. One of the takeaways from the message was
that regardless of what has happened in our lives, there is no condemnation, wait
what? Yes even in parenting– that is what our God is like. Isn’t it a relief to
know that God cares about my situation? All the mistakes I’ve made as a mom,
those are covered too. He wants the best for us and he is able cover with his
grace those parts that we have messed up. It’s so humbling and so
comforting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The other important point was that God takes
care of our children. To be honest, there are so many things that are out of
our control which is the one reality that is changing me from worrier to prayer
warrior. Our kids do not have to be messed up because we messed up. Sure, I
left his dad under difficult circumstances, went through a depressive and
difficult period. God is able to heal all of those hurts in us and in our
children. He is able instill in us new ways of thinking, joy and peace.
Sometimes our kids may get hurt by other people when we may not have had part
in it, yet as a parent we blame ourselves that somehow we should have protected
them.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Taking encouragement from a blogger (friend in my head) that
I have followed for so long <a href="http://serenity23.blogspot.com/">Serenity</a>, I have in the last year been making
an effort to get up at least half an hour earlier than usual to have my
devotional. I pray for my family and I especially pray for my child. It hasn’t
always happened but on days when I wake up and devote my family to God, he
brings so much peace. When my lil man is gone away to spend time with his dad,
I double up on the prayer-lol. True.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
pray for his other family. I pray for the circle of people that he will be
exposed to. I know God is protecting him, but mostly what this has done is
really change ME to see the bigger picture that God has for me and my child.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As I pray over the
people in his life (some of whom have hurt me unspeakable), God has shown me
that his love and grace is for all. It has really helped in my interactions
with people and put peace in my life. When I feel like things will overwhelm me
and I want to throw a pity party, I can draw from God’s promise that I have
overcome. The enemy is real; he will want to keep you committed in a place of
condemnation, guilt and helplessness. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
have been fearful lately of all the things my child could experience as he is
approaching adolescence. The amount of garbage he is exposed to as a young
child is nauseating. This is where I start to hyperventilate and worry. I have
to remember to keep connected to the truth and the source of peace.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My goal this year is to pray over my child more than I ever
have.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Praying that God gives me wisdom to
parent, listen, have great intuition and help me pour into him wisdom that will
build him up. Praying over people that will have influence in his life, for
protection over him. Parenting is a gift and I’m so grateful for the
opportunity to do it x2. I know the first thing I have to do is commit my
children to the one who gifted them to me, knows all and has a PLAN for them.
It’s so comforting isn’t it?</div>
shizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934317427556304168noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514325466217152312.post-67642080166990965212014-03-06T09:40:00.002-06:002014-03-06T10:01:38.206-06:00Uncertainty in the journey<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Today marks 28 weeks of pregnancy, three months to go! Where
did the time go? It has been a pretty uneventful pregnancy, my greatest
complaint being: “…how in the world I’m I supposed to sleep with a giant squash
in my belly?” Yes, lots of tossing and turning, sometimes I wake up feeling
like I’ve been exercising all night. That aside, I almost feel awful for not
reporting any morning sickness unlike so many women. So physically, I have been
great, but I have never been so emotional in my life! I’m not sure if it’s the lack
of quality sleep or so called hormones but my anxiety and impatience took an
upswing, oh and the weepiness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve had
my share of tears; some legitimate and lots more watching “Undercover Boss” and
even “Shark Tank”.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
11 years or so ago, I was in the same predicament. I was
young, naïve, had just married the father of the child I was carrying with much
trepidation and living in New York city (of all places). Of course I didn’t
have a place of my own, that would have been a luxury! I was subletting a room
for an awful amount of money compared to what I was making and lucky for me, my
job was only a 15 minute bus ride away. I had an awesome boss working at NYU.
It was not stressful at all, flexible work and interesting.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At 28 weeks though, my landlord needed his whole house back
so I needed to find another place to live. Did I mention that my then husband
lived about 5 hours away at school? So moving meant I needed to figure this
thing out by myself. It’s not cliché; God has always provided for what I needed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Having lived in NYC for less than a year, God
had blessed me with many wonderful friends mostly from church. Boy, I must be
the queen of new beginnings. Let me digress by saying that this was my fourth
move that year. I had lived across the river in New Jersey for a couple weeks,
found an apartment in Queens where I lived for a few months before the sublet
in lower Manhattan that I now had to vacate. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes I have taken every train and bus line in
NYC! All this while single and pregnant! Frankly I don’t know how I managed. I
did have some naïve faith that I would make it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Living in NYC meant that most of my college friends had also moved to
different places, launching their American dreams. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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Here I was, pregnant, without anything much to my name. Well,
in that month, a young woman from church living in the Bronx offered me a room
in her apartment. It was nice and cozy and I didn’t have much anyway. My friends
with a car (a luxury in NYC) moved me and I settled. In another month’s time
while 8 months pregnant I would make the 17 hour drive to my new home in
Charlotte, NC.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Looking back at the events, I see God’s hand in my life in
so many great and intricate ways. Now, I’m a veteran mom (take that lightly), wife, driving to work
(lol) with an office that I can nap in if I feel tired.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have matured in many ways but in a lot of
ways I wish my faith was as naïve as back then. I have been mulling
over this for some time. My worrying over things now is almost laughable. God has taken me through
so much, fire and floods figuratively, broken heart, disappointments but
through it all has been my steadfast source of strength. I have grown in ways I
cannot comprehend and I would never trade this experience for another.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Oswald Chambers who has become one of my favorite authors
wrote:</div>
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Our natural inclination is to be so
precise—trying always to forecast accurately what will happen next—that we look
upon uncertainty as a bad thing. We think that we must reach some predetermined
goal, but that is not the nature of the spiritual life. The nature of the
spiritual life is that we are certain in our uncertainty. Certainty is the mark
of the commonsense life—gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life.
To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, not knowing
what tomorrow may bring. This is generally expressed with a sigh of sadness, but
it should be an expression of breathless expectation. We are uncertain of the
next step, but we are certain of God. As soon as we abandon ourselves to God
and do the task He has placed closest to us, He begins to fill our lives with
surprises.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I have these words posted on my wall at work, I need to
make this my life’s mantra. Regardless of where this finds you today, I hope my
story fills you with strength that the Lord is always at work. Rejoice in where
you are, even though it may be an unfavorable or unbearable situation. If it's great, rejoice. If you
trust in God, he is doing a great work in you right now. Nothing is ever wasted
in the eyes of our Lord. I’m grateful for this journey. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Psalm 28:7</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in
him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him. </div>
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1 Thessalonians 5:18<br />
"In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you."<br />
<br />
Ten almost eleven years ago my life changed forever. God gifted
me with this child. I had no idea what I was doing, I just lived day by day and
did my best. A lot has happened in those years; many ups and downs but the one
thing that has been consistent is that God has always been by our side.
Sometimes I wanted to run away from him, and many times I questioned (still do)
his plan for our life. This child is something special. As he has grown up, I
see his determination, his ambition. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
is highly organized. He knows when homework needs to be done and he does it. I
never have to complain about work not being done. Shuffling between two homes
is not for the faint of heart. As much as I try to ensure that he has things
where he needs them, sometimes it’s not possible. He has taken that liberty to
ensure that he puts things in his bag that he needs. Somewhere <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>in my heart I feel a lot of guilt for putting
him in this situation, but<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>a lot of
pride and joy knowing seeing him rise above it. He has taken this difficult
situation in stride. Suffering has a way of building us up that we would not
achieve otherwise.</div>
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<br /></div>
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In the last month or so he has <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>been working on his Science Project. It was an
advance idea measuring electrolytes in different drinks. I have never seen
anyone so dedicated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I erred and bought
him the wrong type of presentation board and we didn’t find this out until he
had mounted all his work. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He needed a
trifold that could stand up on its own….duh!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Sometimes these are the tribulations of being an immigrant mom. Needless
to say, we had to re-type everything..since I had not saved it and re-mount
everything…sigh. He worked non-stop <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>some
nights to make it happen, even requesting me to wake him up early to have it
done. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was all getting so frustrating
because he had enough time, he didn’t have to push himself so hard.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Me: You have two more days that you could use to get this
done, don’t stress yourself out. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Him: I need to finish now so I can have two free days.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I let him work away, pushing past some bedtime on one day
and working while eating breakfast on another. He was done before all deadlines
of which there were a couple based on the phase of the project. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So yesterday when I finally saw him at his set up, props and
all and heard him present, I was sooo proud. He had to explain his project over
and over to everyone who stopped by and he did great. Finally the awards, which
we did not focus on, but I was secretly hoping he would win something. After all I was a Science major and I work in research. I knew
he was a contender. So when they called his name, I had to keep from choking
up. He is always so modest, he carried his poster to the front and displayed
it. In a moment of excitement and trying to keep from climbing on the tables
and moonwalking, I forgot to take a picture of this glorious moment. Luckily
some more stable parent did.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I would be proud of my child even if he did not win, but I
celebrate his gifting today. I’m so thankful to God for making him the way he did.
Our family dynamic has pushed me to pray for him more than I would have if he
was staying with me all the time. I’m thankful to God because of his continuing
presence in our life. I’m thankful for my growing boy and I celebrate him today.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span class="arial14">Gratitude is an offering precious in the sight of
God, and it is one that the poorest of us can make and be not poorer but
richer for having made it.</span></i><span style="color: black;"><a href="http://christian-quotes.ochristian.com/A.W.-Tozer-Quotes/"><i> </i>A.W. Tozer</a></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
shizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934317427556304168noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514325466217152312.post-16904273228941836642013-11-27T20:53:00.001-06:002013-12-06T10:48:14.522-06:00In all things<div class="MsoNormal">
Thanksgiving…huh. If I really want to write how I feel about
this time of year, it’s just that I’m glad we get the time off. Thanksgiving is
a weird holiday, it reminds me that I’m far away from my family yet at the same
time it makes me grateful to have good friends. The anxiety of Christmas starts
and you can’t help feeling like you are going to miss out on a really great
deal on black Friday…ugh. I have evaded that shopping madness, I will take my chances with reheating
leftovers and movie marathons thank you!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For a parent with shared custody like me, holidays are a
whole other beast. It means I might not have my child for one or more of the
holidays. It makes planning really sad, almost makes me want to skip all these
holidays altogether. This year, I do not have my son for thanksgiving or
Christmas, thanks to a horrible custody deal I made (with the devil) years ago.
I avoided planning for what we were going to do as long as possible. I mean
staying home may not be such a bad idea. Today was sad day as I spoke to my baby while he was
preparing for thanksgiving with his dad. I missed him so much already. Not only
would it be so much better, he would have so much more fun being here. His dad makes no efforts to connect with
families with kids or his own family. That is a story for another day. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So when I left work today my heart was heavy. Everyone was
running to get out early and a tad bit mad that they didn’t close the office at
3. I wasn’t in a hurry. I mean where was I going but to a house full of echo?
My baby who is usually bouncing off the
walls or bouncing stuff off of something keeps it pretty noisy, talking nonstop
or watching SpongeBob. Today he wasn’t going to be there.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I finally left the office, adding to the aggravation was the
biting cold. Why do I live here again? I got to my car. His dad had said
something foolish earlier in the day and I started thinking about how I’ve been
dealing with his narcissistic personality. Most days I can handle it, but some
days I’m just tired. I could feel an oncoming pity party.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was reminded of the devotional I read earlier in the day
from Tony Evans. Of course it was about giving thanks. 1 Thes. 5:18 says that giving thanks is the “will
of God concerning you”. He went on to explain that God causes all things to
work together for good..Romans 8:28. ALL things. Even the tough times like
these. Even a divorce, a custody situation, ALL things. He sees the whole
picture. Today I was only seeing how my son wasn’t going to be there and he has
to be with someone I can barely stand. If I believe that God has a divine purpose
for my life, then even this seemingly crazy situation is being used for good. I
just don’t have the whole picture but God does. I should be thanking him and
relinquishing control of my life. I trust that he is aware of every situation,
he knows, he is working it out..for my good, for my son’s good. This verse in Lamentations
3: 37 comforts me: Can anything happen without the Lord’s permission?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Right there and then in the car, I started to wonder why I was
worried so much. I could pray and lift my son up in prayer. I could give thanks
that he is in control and that he is going to protect my child. He does that
even when my child is with me, I don’t have much more control over his life or
anything for that matter. God gifted me that child to take care of and I should
look up to him for his protection.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I gave thanks for the crazy family dynamic that I am in. I
know it’s for a divine purpose. I accept that and hope to grow into what the
Lord would have me. I prayed for my son, his protection, peace, comfort and
happiness, even when he cannot be with his mom. That he will thrive above this
situation. I can’t tell you what peace I experienced after that prayer. I’m so
thankful for the Holy Spirit nudging me to pray instead of mulling over the
situation on the way home and feeling sorry and mad.</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I thank God for the hope I have in salvation. I ’m thankful
for a husband. I’m thankful for wonderful friends with whom I will eat and
laugh tomorrow. There is reason to be thankful when we know God has the whole
picture. Happy thanksgiving!</div>
shizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934317427556304168noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514325466217152312.post-50147095706202190892013-10-24T12:31:00.000-06:002013-10-24T12:31:01.740-06:00More like Jesus<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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I haven’t written lately, first because I was busy getting
married, getting used to being married and now, I can reflect…Hmm marriage is
great! I know it’s for me, I love having someone to come home to everyday, to
share my recipes and stories and crazy ideas. Marriage is also hard work as I’m
learning. Having someone next to you all of the time is going to annoy you at
some point. Let’s face it, we are selfish beings. I am a selfish person. I didn’t
think that way of myself until I got married. It just seems like my way is
better, why would you not neatly arrange dishes in the dishwasher, why not put
the socks in the right place, why do you have to change up your breakfast
routine? Why oh why?</div>
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The list is endless, but it all points to: I like things
the way I like them and having someone else do things different in your space
is challenging. So I’m accepting this challenge as God’s way of growing me out
of my selfishness and maturing me into someone more useful for him. Because let’s
face it, Jesus was not selfish, he gave of himself to people who did not
deserve it. I cannot think of anything more selfless. I strive to be like
Jesus, so I’m praying that God may do his work in this season to take out the
things that are not of him and make me more like Jesus. Just don’t make it so
painful Lord. </div>
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If you are going through a season that is challenging,
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are emptied of pride and <b><span style="color: #660000;">selfish</span></b>ness
and ambition and everything that is contrary to God's law, the Holy Spirit will
fill every corner of our hearts. But if we are full of pride and conceit and
ambition and the world, there is no room for the Spirit of God. We must be
emptied before we can be filled - </span><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> <a href="http://christian-quotes.ochristian.com/D.L.-Moody-Quotes/"><span style="color: blue;">D.L. Moody</span></a></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive <b><span style="color: #660000;">selfish</span></b>ness- <a href="http://christian-quotes.ochristian.com/Martin-Luther-King,-Jr.-Quotes/"><span style="color: blue;">Martin Luther King, Jr.</span></a></span></div>
<br /><br />
shizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934317427556304168noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514325466217152312.post-21037997027933337052013-06-04T14:58:00.000-06:002013-06-04T14:58:03.465-06:00Dress code <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<![endif]-->Today as I walked to into the office at my son’s school, there
was a female student, say 6, 7<sup>th</sup> or 8<sup>th</sup> grade (can’t seem
to tell nowadays) who was having a conversation with a teacher. While I was
waiting to be helped, I gathered that she was in the office for lacking
appropriate school gear. We have a uniform dress code part of which happens to
be gray pants. I heard her say “these are just like skinny jeans..”. First I was
thinking, no skinny jeans allowed… I couldn’t see her bottom as she was
standing behind the desk. Then the teacher replied “These are probably
appropriate for when you are at home or grocery shopping but not for school,
you are wearing leggings .”
<br />
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I could tell they had been having this conversation for a
couple minutes. As I got the assistance I need, she moved around so I was able
to see her supposed pants or lack thereof. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To her credit, they were gray in color, but how
in the world did this <s>woman</s> girl get out of the house wearing leggings
and a sweatshirt on her merry way to school? The worst part is she had the nerve
to argue with a teacher about the appropriateness of her outfit. These are the kind
of tights you wear under a dress or outfit but to her these were THE outfit! Glad
to see that they called her parents.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Not that my .02 cents counts for anything but good Lord, our
sense of decency long went down the drain and now pre-teens think it’s ok to
spend a day in school in nothing but tights, what’s next come as you are in
pajamas…wait we already have pajama day which still puzzles me. I mean how are
we supposed to wear those same pajamas to bed after collecting germs at school
all day? But I digress. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How do schools
without a uniform dress code deal with this everyday? As I was pondering the
school’s dilemma in enforcing dress code and the student’s reaction, I didn’t
have to look too far other than our office setting. Yep, guessed it right
someone has worn leggings to work as pants! I have no words to address this odd
behavior. When did colored skinny jeans become acceptable business casual? Imitating
google, apple or is it Facebook? Except we don’t make cool innovative stuff, play
racquetball over break or other casual work place perks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We can do better. </div>
shizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934317427556304168noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514325466217152312.post-69269536386153068492013-04-11T09:31:00.003-06:002013-04-11T09:31:53.301-06:00Instructions? Meh..<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Yesterday I got home to find a sparkling clean kitchen. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My fiancé had come in and apparently decided
to go to war with any dirty dish or speck of dirt. I was happy of course, but
it seemed an odd task to take on a random Wednesday, so I asked what the
motivation to clean was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My fiancé needed to fix his favorite watch as the seams were
coming undone. Being the handy man he is, he decided he was going the super
glue route. He had mentioned that earlier in the day, and with the ease that he
said those words, I thought he had done this super glue thing. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was at the gym, the super glue was bought, the home depot
version, not the corner store version. He proceeded to fix the seams of his
watch and as he was doing it, some glue ran down his fingers...pause… I correct
that, some SUPER glue ran down his fingers! This is where I OMGed, mouth open…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Instantly two of his fingers had meshed together, his skin
became taut, so much so he could not open his curved hand. He said if felt like
his hand was stiff and immobile. Then began the freak-out: He read the instructions
on the super glue first: “do not let this get on your skin”. Ah, those darn
instructions-too late! YouTube, Google, furiously scrubbing his fingers with
the pumice stone…. If you have ever had even a drop of superglue on you, then
you sympathize, because short of removing some skin, it really does the gluing
in a super manner-pun intended. The tube instructions did mention something
about keeping the affected surface in hot water. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So more scrubbing, peeling, then dishes, ah,
what is a better way to keep your hand immersed than while washing dishes! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I won’t even mention the part where he wondered if this was
how it was all going to end, so he had put his phone on standby in case he
started convulsing or gasping for air or some other crazy superglue induced
malfunction. By the time I came home, it was a clean, calm house. Most of the
super glue removed and normal hand functions restored. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was laughing
uncontrollably because the probable malfunctions being described to me could
only happen during an alien invasion or in an episode of ‘Criminal Minds’. He
survived and I think he learnt something about reading instructions
first-maybe. Nah, this happens to be one of those experience first things. I’m
glad we got it out of the way. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Have a super day!</div>
shizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934317427556304168noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514325466217152312.post-33430523024439542102013-01-15T12:46:00.002-06:002013-01-15T12:47:01.111-06:00gift of motherhood<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Lil man is turning 10 in a couple of days..10. I would like
to say “Where did the time go?” which is so cliché, but for real, “Where did
the time go?” How can I be a mom to a 10 year old? He has promptly notified me
that he will be a tween (I guess pre-teen) and my heart is responding
appropriately with muted panic. Last evening I watched him wash his hands and
he put three pumps of the hand washing soap. Now, one pump is more
than enough, I could understand two…but three pumps of the Trader Joe’s soap? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I asked him why he was using so much, the soap
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needed two pumps but he has noticed that he now needs three pumps. LOL. At this
point I should pick my battles, right? I mean he is washing his hands, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I may just have to buy soap more often. Maybe
this is a metaphor that I should be comfortable with transitions. I have had
two buy a brand new wardrobe just in six months because nothing fits anymore.
For now, believe it or not, he still fits on my lap, or attempts to, which is
funny as he is only 6 inches away from being my height (sigh). This reminds me
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Lord thank you for this motherhood journey. I have learned
so much about myself and about you. Thank you for the gift of a child. Help me
raise him to be the person you have designed him to be.</div>
shizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934317427556304168noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514325466217152312.post-43171828789634663692012-10-22T10:00:00.003-06:002012-10-22T10:01:11.027-06:00Got confirmation?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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When you pursue God and let him work in your life, you never
know how he is going to bless your life. I had a chance meeting with someone I
have not seen in 12 years. Turns out she moved into the city and we go to the
same church, I just did not know what had become of her until yesterday. </div>
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<br /></div>
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She is younger than me, I remember being on my way to
college while she was still in elementary school. All these years later, we are
like peers. I invited her for lunch and it is as if I had known her all my
life- I have in essence, just never had a conversation with her. She spoke of
her faith with such conviction and openness and brought such affirmation in my
life.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I’ve been going through a tough time relationally and surrendering
to God has been one of the hardest things I do, continually yielding to his
will and prodding. Sometimes when I speak to people who are not concerned about
the will of God, they affirm my humanity and make me feel like I’m overspiritualizing
my life. Yet I know that God speaks in our life and nudges us, but <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>when I say, I don’t believe that God is
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was doing something there…yes he was saying: listen to my servant that I have
sent to encourage you. Do not be disappointed by the state of affairs or follow
in the leading of people who are not pursuing my will, be steadfast my child, I
‘m working in your life and in due time will reveal my plan for your life. </div>
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Confirmation. Thank you Jesus!</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
"For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are
the sons of God" (Rom. 8:14).</div>
shizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934317427556304168noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514325466217152312.post-83615264178560641652012-10-10T15:06:00.004-06:002012-10-10T15:12:10.855-06:00Comfortable, ugh!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Life is such an oxymoron, we want to be comfortable
but when we get there, we better watch out, it just might be that we are not
progressing much. Let me explain. I will start with the minute. For the past one year
I have been parking in an open lot at work. It’s about two and a half blocks from
the office so not a big deal. Prior to my moving to the open lot, I parked 6
blocks away and I was on a waiting list for a parking garage that is literally
a block from the office. Keeping in mind that these are wide city blocks, there are pros and cons
to these parking arrangements. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I always thought it
would be great to get my blood moving in the morning, however, l</span>iving in the Midwest makes the six blocks
my winter nightmare. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>Once it took me 20
horrid minutes because of ice, wind, snow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That winter was relentless and I ended up having to go crazy and ask the
powers that be that I must park closer, hands were twisted and I magically got
a closer spot, not the garage I wanted but hey, it was good enough.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This summer, enough people retired at my job to open
a spot up at the parking garage. Now you would think I would jump at this
opportunity. See I was used to “my spot” on the open lot. I could go in and out
without making useless rounds up and down a building. On the down side,
cleaning buckets of snow off my car after work is not the thing I would rather
do. It’s just plain annoying the tropical girl in me is not cut out for such fun.
Parking garages on the other hand, having watched too many Criminal shows, seem
to be an offender’s playpen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would
have to take the elevator or Lord forbid the dingy stairs, walk around this
interestingly lit building to find my car. The funny thing, the floors are almost
always empty of people, it’s always one other person walking to their car and
you. Or is it one crazy person waiting to pounce on you in the shadows of the
garage? So I was scaring myself over having to move into the garage space. Unfounded
fears.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When I really thought about it, I just did not want
change. It seems minute but I was against change from the routine..
The most rational thing would be for me to park closer and park in an enclosed
structure because after all we have winter for close to half the year. Something
so minute, yet significant enough to make excuses for. Made me wonder what
other things I rationalize keeping the same, not taking the available
opportunities that happen. Sometimes in life we feel like if we work hard enough,
do enough, sacrifice enough, we will get to a place of total bliss and
comfort.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hmm, it may be somewhat true of
financial gains but if we go deeper, we are always growing as people and life constantly
challenges us. We cannot be stagnant, we always have to be willing to change,
be teachable, learn something that will propel us to another level physically,
mentally, emotionally and spiritually.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Spiritually, this has been eye opening for me. I
thought once I became a Christian, it was like arriving to a destination but I
have learnt that it is a journey of becoming. Growing, shedding and becoming
the person God meant me to be. For a long time, I was spiritually parked in an
open parking lot. Refusing to change, but the elements beat me up since I was
so comfortable, comfortable with unpleasant snow cleanings and an iced car,
when I could be elevated to a dry garage closer to work. In examining my life,
I needed to shed some things, do things differently move to a different spot, open
up to new people in my life. When I opened myself up to these possibilities, I
found freedom waiting on the other side. When I’m true to the faith, I am
liberated. When I tap into truth, I find grace. Though this process, I am
finally beginning to understand how God manifests his love and grace and how it
applies in my life. As Christian, the only comfort you should have is knowing
that you are completely dependent on God. So if you are comfortable, examine
yourself, it may just be that you are missing out on opportunities for growth. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">A
man grows most tired while standing still. - Chinese Proverb</i></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">To improve is to change; to be perfect
is to change often. - <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/14033.Winston_Churchill"><span style="color: windowtext; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Winston
Churchill</span></a></span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Romans
12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be transformed by the renewing of
your mind, that you may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect,
will of God</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">.</span></div>
shizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934317427556304168noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514325466217152312.post-68289755921216661532012-09-10T10:36:00.002-06:002012-09-10T10:40:07.248-06:00spiritual spotlight<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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The message this week was about the
Carnal Mind based off of Romans 13. Talk about the hammer being brought down!
This is a hard topic for both the preacher and the audience, not to mention
rare and probably considered outdated. I don't ever recall hearing a sermon so
painfully true, really something I would rather not think about YET so
incredibly important and necessary for every Christian. I wish I had heard this
sermon when I was 20, it probably would have saved me a ton of life's headaches..maybe.
Carnal nature. I'm still pondering and reflecting. I found these incredible
quotes summing up pretty much a lot of my Christian life...sigh. Talk about a
spiritual spotlight. Thank you God for providing a servant who is willing to
say the unpopular truth.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
Carnal believers are moved easily.
On one occasion they may be extremely excited an happy, on another occasion,
very despondent and sad. In the happy moment they judge the world too small to
contain them, and so they soar on wings to the heavens; but in the moment of sadness
they conclude that the world has had enough of them and will be glad to be rid
of them... their lives are susceptible to constant changes for they are
governed by their emotions.-<a href="http://christian-quotes.ochristian.com/Watchman-Nee-Quotes/"><span style="text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Watchman Nee</span></a></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
Though all Christians possess a
regenerated spirit, not all Christians are spiritual. Many are still fleshly.
Their carnal mind is still full of wandering thoughts, reasons and plans; their
emotion runs wild with many carnal interests, desires and tendencies; and their
will formulates many worldly judgements, arguments and opinions. They are so
occupied in following the flesh that they have neither time nor inclination to
listen to the voice of intuition. Since the voice of the spirit is usually very
soft, it cannot be heard unless it is listened to attentively with everything
else quieted.-<a href="http://christian-quotes.ochristian.com/Watchman-Nee-Quotes/"><span style="text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Watchman Nee</span></a></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
A real spiritual life is never
dominated by, nor lived in, feeling. Rather does it regulate feeling. Nowadays
Christians mistake a life of feeling for spiritual experience. This is because
many have never entered into genuine spirituality and hence interpret happy
sensation to be spiritual experience.-<a href="http://christian-quotes.ochristian.com/Watchman-Nee-Quotes/"><span style="text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Watchman Nee</span></a></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
A fleshly/carnal life will
corrupt morals, weaken personal relationships, produce doubt about God and His
Word, destroy prayer life and provide fertile ground for heresy.-<a href="http://christian-quotes.ochristian.com/John-MacArthur-Quotes/"><span style="text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">John MacArthur</span></a> </div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
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God may allow His servant to
succeed when He has disciplined him to a point where he does not need to
succeed to be happy. The man who is elated by success and is cast down by
failure is still a carnal man. At best his fruit will have a worm in it. <a href="http://christian-quotes.ochristian.com/A.W.-Tozer-Quotes/"><span style="text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">A.W. Tozer</span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"> </span></div>
<span class="arial14"><span class="arial14"> </span></span><br />
<span class="arial14"><span class="arial14">Romans 13: 11-14 </span></span><br />
<span class="arial14"><span class="arial14"><span class="text Rom-13-11"><sup class="versenum">11 </sup>And do this, understanding the present time: The hour has already come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed.</span> <span class="text Rom-13-12" id="en-NIV-28279"><sup class="versenum">12 </sup>The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light.</span> <span class="text Rom-13-13" id="en-NIV-28280"><sup class="versenum">13 </sup>Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy.</span> <span class="text Rom-13-14" id="en-NIV-28281"><sup class="versenum">14 </sup>Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh.<sup class="footnote" value="[<a href="#fen-NIV-28281c" title="See footnote c">c</a>]">[<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+13&version=NIV#fen-NIV-28281c" title="See footnote c">c</a>]</sup></span> </span> </span>shizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934317427556304168noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514325466217152312.post-58854088652186470552012-09-10T09:48:00.001-06:002012-10-10T15:14:20.238-06:00NOW past THEN<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The question is, does it really matter now whether I
said yes or no to a plan months ago? Suppose I said YES, would that have solved
our problems? We would still have basic/fundamental problems lingering wouldn’t
we? Suppose I said NO months ago, then does it really matter now? At the end of
the day, isn’t what I say TODAY the most important thing? Whether I said yes or
no, if we are looking for a way forward, it’s about now. But if you are looking
to be right about months ago then the past is most important. But does that
make the now or the future brighter? You are too hurt and stuck on the past that my saying
yes NOW means nothing to you, which only follows then that I mean nothing to
you NOW.</span></div>
shizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934317427556304168noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514325466217152312.post-13271468327849920772012-08-29T10:07:00.001-06:002012-10-10T15:13:06.429-06:00OMG<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Since it’s the start of the school year, the kid’s leader at
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Leader: What do you
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Lil Man: Well…the 5<sup>th</sup> graders have been beating us
as kickball and I want us to win. I hope we can win the next time.</div>
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Blink, blink.. trying not to burst out laughing but composing myself, thank God I was driving. </div>
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Me (seriously): So how about something academic, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>what you hope to accomplish?</div>
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Lil Man: Well Mommy, recess is part of school so winning
kickball is important.</div>
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<br /></div>
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End of conversation while I laugh and cry at the same time.
Is anyone else’s kid obsessed with recess? Should I be concerned? I'm investigating "How to make Math, Science and other school work as fun as kickball" ASAP.</div>
shizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934317427556304168noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514325466217152312.post-14949528693759733192012-08-27T14:28:00.001-06:002012-08-27T14:29:29.458-06:00dear fourth grade, be nice<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">On the fourth day of school, I asked my lil man how
things were going.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was expecting some
positives seeing as we have a nice teacher, no homework. “School is not
fulfilling anymore…” Hmm, that caught me off-guard wondering whether to first
clarify the meaning of ‘fulfilling’ or ask why it wasn’t.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“They just keep coming up with rules. First It
was the STAR position, now we have to tuck in our shirts including gym shirts….”.
The STAR position is some acronym for sitting upright and tracking the teacher
and I clearly don’t remember what it stands for. My son demonstrated it with
shoulders held unnaturally high and straight neck; I could see why he wasn’t surviving
the day. I asked him to relax his shoulders a bit. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I agree, it is becoming a bit ‘military’, I
mean untucked shirt has nothing to do with learning eh? He’s lucky he wasn’t around
when I was growing up-, unpolished shoes (yikes), slightly unkempt nails, hair
that was not in place, uniform that wasn’t pressed crisp among a myriad of other
unrelated issues could earn you a proper punishment. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We all thought it was part of school life. I
don’t know how much good that did, I hate ironing, don’t ever polish my shoes,
the only school approved hair style in my day(cornrows) puts me in anxiety, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do my nails real nice though.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">How do you keep a fourth-grade boy motivated?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This morning, he was excited that he had Gym
and since it had rained all night, the default outdoor activity would be
kickball due to a flooded playground. “I’m glad it rained because I have my
good shoes on for kickball”. See, on a regular day when there is no Gym and it
rains, his dress-up shoes are not conducive to a good kickball session. My son
lives for recess. It’s a phase right? I mean he gets good grades; I guess that
is more than I can ask for. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When asked what in math he finds difficult, he said
“nothing” (initially) and that he doesn’t really know what he hopes to learn
this year. After mini-session on ‘we all have things we could polish up on’, the
answer changed to fractions, but he was adamant that he didn’t find any math
difficult, just did not find anything fun about it. I beg to differ remembering
countless homework wrangles that we had last year-undermining my traditional
learning methods, counting beans and what not over some new era rounding off
methods. If this boy did not learn any more math moving forward he would be ok
with life. I guess that is why I’m the parent and he is the kid. I don’t
remember having ideas about school or otherwise but I was scared cold of
becoming a farm hand-because that’s what you became around my parts if school
came in one ear and out the other. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There
were no options to school and doing well in school. You knew better than answer
that recess is your favorite part of the day, there was a right answer to that
question, no need putting your opinion or dreams in the path of your future. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I’m trying to be a parent of the future
without veering too far off the more trodden path, balancing opinions and
necessity. Lord help me.</span></div>
shizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934317427556304168noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514325466217152312.post-76683867442871332732012-08-27T11:07:00.004-06:002012-08-27T11:08:43.476-06:00The word..grow up!God has really been blessing and speaking into my life in the midst of
all the craziness. I'm so grateful for all the trials he has brought my
way so that I can grow into the person he wants me to be. Yesterday's sermon notes on "A mature mind":<br />
<br />
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Mature mind</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />
A mature mind means to be fully developed in spiritual character and emotion.<br />
God will make it clear where there is error in your ways and spiritual
thinking.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Philippians
3<br />
Take away :<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">When I can't forget, I can't
focus.</b><br />
Christians need two core practices:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Forget
and Focus</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Forget:</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">God
doesn't remember our sin after we ask for forgiveness. To forget is to lack
concern for-enables healing. Must forget the hurtful, immoral, distressful, and
boastful things.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .75in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Hurtful</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .75in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Mature mind
rejects the temptation to be obsessed with pain. Let it go. Be willing to let
someone else's sin under the blood of Christ. If we refuse to forgive we become
defined by our past. Root of bitterness defiles- like pickle glass always
spills into whatever comes in touch with, no matter how good. Accept the lords
dealing, he says ‘vengeance is mine’.<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Immoral</b><br />
Mature mind stops allowing the devil to diminish the power of the blood. If you
are living in sin, bring under the blood, bring it to light. He forgives completely-
let go of shame and guilt.<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Distressful</b><br />
Mature mind resists the control of the traumatic. Past events.<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Boastful </b>(Victories that make us
boastful) </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .75in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Mature mind
rejects allowing our resume to be our downfall. The only one we should cheer
for is Jesus. Must deny yourself and follow Christ.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Focus:</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .75in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Sober
mind 1 Pet 4:7-life is not all about enjoying. Used to think like a child...now
you are grown. All things are permissible, not everything is beneficial. 1 Pet
4:7- “<span class="text">The end of all things is near. Therefore be alert and of
sober mind so that you may pray.</span>”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .75in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Set
mind -Mature Christian, it's not about you, there is an upward call. God gets to
choose. Col 3:1- “<span class="text">Since, then, you have been raised with
Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right
hand of God.”</span><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">When
you can’t forget, you can’t focus, let it go and focus on what God has for you.</span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />shizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934317427556304168noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514325466217152312.post-57264715464918211622012-07-13T14:21:00.004-06:002012-07-13T14:23:11.445-06:00pondering true love<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I write a lot when I’m down, but today I thought I
would write when I’m up. I recently messed up big time. Something that I had
done followed me and was attacking my inner peace. Even after writing the
previous post about accepting freedom and leaving guilt behind, I was feeling pretty
down. But I prayed consistently putting all my worries, anger….laying them all
out to God because I know he is the only one who can give peace. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I am a witness that God is faithful and his grace is
sufficient for whatever step of life we are in. I am just beginning to peel the
layers of understanding how truly loved I am. God cannot do any more for me
than what is already done. He paid the ultimate sacrifice. God could not love
me any more than he does right now. He doesn’t love me less when I’m straying, and
he doesn’t love me more when I’m being “good”. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">When we meditate on his word, he reveals himself to
us. I think it is because we are still and waiting upon him. I recently joined
this inductive Bible study. Even though I just met these fellow believers, whenever
we study the word of God and dig deeper not only I’m I encouraged, I have
realized how “sweet” the Word of God is for lack of a better word. The book of
John showing Jesus’ life just leaves me speechless at how amazingly cool Jesus
was. But above all, full of grace, wisdom, holiness and really focused on
fulfilling his mission on earth based on God’s love for us. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">God is love. Accept that, ponder on it, apply it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Ephesians 3:16-19</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I pray that out of his glorious riches he may
strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that
Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being
rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints,
to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know
this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all
the fullness of God.</span></i></div>shizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934317427556304168noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514325466217152312.post-5649129547021972652012-07-02T10:10:00.003-06:002012-07-02T10:34:42.192-06:00Transition: spiritual freedom<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The spiritual transition has been hard to write on and I
have had to stop, contemplate <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and start
again. In the last couple of years I have been ‘feeling’ <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>that something wasn’t right. The comfort of
life just wasn’t so appealing anymore even when ‘all things’ were going right.
Roughly five years ago I was in a tight spot, my life was a mess, I was
starting my life over and I had no one to hang onto but Jesus. I remember
crying out to him and making promises and thinking how much I wanted to be
obedient to him. God restored me, he restored my hope and vision for a bright
future. Well apparently human beings suffer from great amnesia when it comes to
what God has done for us and I’m no exception. Life got comfortable. The more
comfortable I got, the less reliant on God I became.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Peace out God. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Prayers and bible reading more or less happened in church
and when I felt guilty at home-which wasn’t that often. I was a good person,
obeying most of the <u>laws</u>. If I had been reading my bible, I would know
that Jesus rebuked the Pharisees for keeping the laws and not understanding
truth. There is nothing wrong with being comfortable, but as Christians,
stagnation can signal a much deeper problem. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">True relationship with Jesus calls us to mature and keep
growing, abounding in love, active in our faith, being filled with the spirit (Phillipians
1:9, Philemon1:6, Col 1:9 etc).</span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I wasn’t doing much growing. Slowly my spiritual cistern was draining and I was struggling to keep up with everything. People in church seem almost too perfect with no (spiritual) problems and certainly from the outside it didn’t seem like I should have any issues. Just like a car in neutral gear, I trudged along. My friend wikipedia states that the neutral gear "disengages all gear trains within the transmission,
effectively disconnecting the transmission from the driven roadwheels, so the
vehicle is able to move freely under its own weight and gain momentum without
the motive force from the engine." Wow, that perfectly describes me in this situation, disengaging from my very source of strength and allowing my own strength to move me. No wonder I haven't been getting far! I<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">t
</span>seemed to work perfectly for a while, but what good is it if a car is disengaged from the engine? </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I seriously started(and continue) seeking God and I figured
that a weekly prayer meeting might be the start. It’s amazing that when we seek God
and open ourselves up to him, he hears us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Jeremiah 29:12 says “Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me,
and I will listen to you”, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and continues
in <span class="crossverse" style="color: black;"><a href="http://bible.cc/jeremiah/33-3.htm">Jeremiah
33:3</a></span> “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and
unsearchable things you do not know.” God has been showing me things, things in
me that I need to root out, showing me that I need to be in his presence daily
if I’m to win this spiritual battle. To surrender.(yikes).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Surrendering is the hardest thing to do for this independent
minded-woman.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I started this post a week ago and while contemplating my
thoughts, the pastor spoke about the freedom we should experience when we come
to Christ. The Christian walk should be the most burden-free, since Jesus
already paid for our shame and guilt and purchased our freedom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I come to Jesus, I can be assured that
all my ugliness is lifted.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This is such a relief, because I have been examining myself
and have been so distraught at my humanness, my imperfections; being angry,
judging others, not doing for others, impatience, bitterness, conduct that I
know would shame Jesus for the PRICE he paid for me. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have questioned myself, my faith, my
life-everything. Even with this knowledge, I have not kept the discipline and
have done things I do not want to do; in short, I’m continually frustrated by myself.
Sigh. How could I ever overcome ME and be the godly woman I desire and fulfill
God’s will for my life? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">We can all relate to this type of brokenness , we cannot
relate to perfection that is sometimes expected of believers. It is humbling to
know that God used people who were not perfect to fulfill his promises. Noah,
Moses, David, Apostle Paul just to name a few did horrendous things BUT most
importantly, they surrendered their lives to God’s grace.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can attest that sin is strong and
temptations are plenty, BUT our God has always been and continues to be greater.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
heard a preacher on radio state that as Christians we never graduate to the
point where we are above grace. How true! We need God’s grace continuously if
we are to abide in this freedom.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I don’t have to walk around feeling guilty and burdened. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I need to seek him and the accept the grace he offers and grow in my experience of him so that I don't take this grace lightly. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m committed to be in this journey of studying
and understanding the word of God, waiting in expectancy as God shows me “great and
unsearchable things I do not know”. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">John 8:32: <span class="woj">“If you hold to my teaching, you
are really my disciples.</span> <span class="woj"><sup><span id="en-NIV-26414"><span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></span></sup>Then
you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>shizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934317427556304168noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514325466217152312.post-36871269732945618772012-06-22T14:36:00.001-06:002012-06-22T14:51:25.501-06:00Transition tale 1<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
First it was the hair. Before the hair went kinky, I had to
have a mental transition about what it means to have kinky curly hair in a
world where it isn’t mainstream. And a mental transition it was. I held onto my
long, straight strands for as long as I could, vowing to keep my hair long
while attempting to gradually eliminate the permanently straightened ends. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At first, I had some rational fear of going short-haired.
Being petite, I might look like a boy, or look even younger. Believe me, when
you are a mom and constantly have to explain HOW you have a son who appears
more like your brother, it is not a complement! I have to be conscious about how I dress or
look especially in formal and work situations to be taken seriously. Short hair
does not fall in the category of enhancing this image and it terrified me. Then
there was the irrational fear. Curly hair would invite all sought of strange
and blank stares. It would also invite judgment and I’ll go so far as to say
pity. See some look at my “unkempt” hair as a sign of a lack of resources to
make it “straight”.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That is why there had to be a mental transition first.
Confidence. I had to let go of fears, preconceived notions, and judgments from myself
and others. Most importantly, I had to invite in their place affirmative
messages, cultivating inner strength, acceptance of the beauty of kinky curly
hair despite what society labels it. The funny thing is I have always secretly loved
big afro, kinky and curly hair. My mom has lovely natural hair which she puts
to the scissors to at whim and it grows back. I just thought it was for others
and not something that I could ever pull it off. Pause at that thought: “I cannot
pull off hair that I was born with”. Hmm.
Thank God that the natural hair community is emerging strongly. Positive messages are out there if you seek
them and if you don’t seek them they are still there, within yourself. I gathered a lot of information about my hair.
A LOT.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I loved feeling my thick curly strands take over my head in
place of the scraggly straightened ones. I wore hair styles that promoted the
curly and most often tucked the straight ends in. 11 months of trying to fight
my two textures into submission, I was done. On a Friday after work I walked
into a salon. I had plenty of time to think about this life-changing decision
as it was the weekend before mother’s day and apparently there were many heads
before mine. However, the stylist is a natural hair enthusiast was God-sent.
She was just as excited as I was about this moment. I didn’t freak out. I took pictures of my
falling strands as she took scissors to them. I saved a sample, not sure what I
intended to do with it (funeral ?..). No I’m not that crazy and I don’t even
remember where I put it after that, probably because I was so ecstatic! After
all my hair was done, I had the loveliest 4 inches of great hair. The first thought
that came to my head was, Why in the world did I wait so long to do this? I was
so happy and content. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Post day of cut, it’s been amazing. I look in the mirror and
in amazement jump up and down (don’t judge me) thinking how much I love being
short curly or sometimes fro’d woman!
You can’t tell me n’thin! Funny, I feel more confident now that I did
before. Most have loved it, some have called me crazy (literally), but I love
it. Shocking how, now that I’m natural, I’m meeting all these other natural
heads EVERYWHERE, church, bible study, work, grocery store. I’ve even had
requests from other curly haired girls asking how they could get their hair to
be like mine, or what do I do, where, how.. My hair is my hair. I can’t compare
it to anyone else’s. Most of the time I just wash wear and it’s alright. I’m
truly not my hair but most importantly I have learned to overcome the self-imposed
limits and the apprehension over what anyone else may say. It truly is freeing.<br />
<br />
Sometimes I wonder if God does customize his approach to us meeting us where we are. This hair transition was in a lot of ways a leap of faith. I feel like God is asking me to do the same thing in my spiritual life, that he is ready to take me to the next level but I have been so comfortable. Maybe I have just be trying to blend in as a Christian, I don't want to be judged or get blank stares when I take it to the next level for God. Jesus was not an exhibitionist but he did what he was called to do, he did not get comfortable with the temporary, he got busy and was on the move for his people even when he faced difficulties, criticism and even death. That will be tale 2, the spiritual transition.</div>shizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934317427556304168noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514325466217152312.post-16036917491459477772012-06-08T12:21:00.002-06:002012-06-08T12:21:13.328-06:00Lost Soul<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Where
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Moments
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Now
seem fleeting</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Where
are the days filled with joy?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Days
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Moments
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Moments
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Days
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Moments
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Moments
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Now
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Where
does the hurting soul search?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Where
does a lost soul find rest?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In
moments of wanting </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In
moments when no one else can satisfy</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Will
faith, hope and love dare occupy</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This
lost soul once more?</span></div>shizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934317427556304168noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514325466217152312.post-42863439235522542592012-06-07T08:28:00.004-06:002012-06-07T08:31:42.249-06:00even for little things<br />
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Our God whom we serve is so good, so wonderful so amazing.
He cares so much, in Matthew 6:30 it says that he cares so much even about
grass in the field that seems so useless. How much more does he care about us,
his children? Yet this morning I woke up worrying, the exact opposite of what
my father has instructed. I have had a cloud hanging over me on this issue and
finally I was giving up today because things were not going my way. I woke up
thinking, yes, I have a solution. Just let this thing go. I had this weekend trip
planned with friends and friends of my lil man once school is out. Now this is
usually easy for some, but for co-parenting, scheduling can be a nightmare. It
turns out, school is out the weekend of fathers’ day and to be fair I figured
the day of should be left to father and son. So I planned that we would leave early
Friday, come back late Saturday in time for father’s day on Sunday. My plan was perfect, until I spoke to the
other party. No- they had plans for the entire weekend! I even offered to come
back early Saturday but there were more NOs, more arguing and I was completely distressed.
So I went into plan B that I would travel alone without K. It was going to be alright, but today I knew
if he wasn’t going, I wasn’t going. I woke up today wrestling with that, how to
explain to my friends that I was pulling out. I was thinking if it would be
good to still pay up my $200 part of the balance. Ugh. It was all stressing me
out. If I didn’t go, then I needed to come up with a great plan for that
weekend ASAP or else I would be depressed. </div>
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<br /></div>
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God had a surprise for me this morning. All along he was
attentive to my stress. I got a call from the X saying, “I think you should all
take this trip, take your time coming back on Sunday”.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Did I just hear him say what he just said? I was trying to
hold it together because I felt like God was playing jokes. I knew without a
shadow of a doubt, God was solving this problem for me. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Without a shadow of a doubt</b>. Doing the impossible, working miracles
using the most unlikely source. I’m in awe of God and what he can do! I’m so
humbled, that God allowed me in this moment to experience his goodness and to
teach me that we walk by faith not by sight. This person is a thorn in my side,
yet what the devil meant for evil, God has over and over again turned it around
and used it for good. I thank you Lord for this moment of teaching and helping
me see how much you care even about the little details.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Matthew 6:25-33</div>
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"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life,
what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life
more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? </div>
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Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or
store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much
more valuable than they?Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his
life?" And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field
grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all
his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the
grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire,
will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?” </div>
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<br /></div>
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So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall
we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things,
and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. </div>
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<br /></div>
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But seek first his kingdom
and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.</div>shizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934317427556304168noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514325466217152312.post-45290817998347635282012-05-26T10:40:00.001-06:002012-05-26T10:40:18.205-06:00ReminderSo do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you! Hebrews 10:35 <br />
<br />
When things are not going my way, it's hard not to jump into some self-pity. This verse reminds me that I serve the almighty God, to whom I'm called to obedience. I trust in his word and look forward to the plans he has for me, even though I can't see it now in the midst of it all.shizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934317427556304168noreply@blogger.com0