I will make it today

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Maria Robinson

One of the hardest things in life is making that first move, drawing that first line, flipping to that new chapter. We may have gone through much planning or even agony to come up with precisely what we need to do. Sometimes we stay where we are even with that knowledge, mostly because of fear. We are afraid of leaving the chapter we are in, however uncomfortable, however painful, however meaningless. It could be fear of the unknown, fear about what others are going to say, fear of failure; so we are paralyzed and accept less than. We rationalize in our heads that we are good because we know what we need to do; we just need to set a perfect time to do it, with the perfect person, in the perfect season. In the meantime, days turn into years and the energy dwindles, while the pain, the meaninglessness and the discomfort increase. Life happens adding to the complexity, and the perfect time, person, season does not come. We ignore that inner voice and suppress our faith. Sometimes we realize this futility and move, many times we wait until it all becomes too much to handle, and right at the breaking point we may make that step. That one step may be all we needed. Then we wonder why we waited so long to set ourselves free.

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."
Hebrew 11:1 (NIV)

“But forget all that—it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland."
Isaiah 43:18-19 (NLT)

Who am I?

I was raised in a conservative christian home.
I'm the oldest of four.
I wanted to be a doctor and got good grades to get there.
I then realized it was more my parent's dream.
My dream is to make a difference in people's health.
I'm yet to start my degree to accomplish that.
It will take two years.
I love my job now.
I have been married.
I am divorced.
I survived domestic abuse.
I am a mom.
I love it.
I hate that I'm so far from my family.
I don't like the cold.
I love being with people.
I like to dance.
I am a Christian.
I surrender to no one but God.
I have a strong dislike for people who use Christianity/Religion for selfish reasons;political, ethical etc.
I can't stand phony people.
I supported Obama.
I believe in love.
I fight for justice.
I wish we would all just get along.
I have more questions sometimes than I do answers.
I love spending time with friends.
I like cooking.
I am an organic food freak.
I spend too much on food.
I would like to exercise more.
I want to run a marathon.
I would like to read more.
I like fashion.
I don't believe in spending a lot of money to look good.
I am a minimalist.
I would like to be a designer.
I would like to be a DJ
I love music.
I am shy.
I am bold.
I live.
I laugh.
I dream.
I believe.
I conquer.
I am set free above all and that is enough.