Joy

I’m just so full of joy this morning, when I woke up I felt like rejoicing and telling God how much I am grateful for his presence in my life. Nothing special happened, I didn’t win the lottery, I didn’t get a promotion, heck things are hard right now: I just started school this week and I have already submitted a couple assignments, my relationship/upcoming nuptials still in the works, my lil man started school (insert crazy morning routine) and I can’t figure what to do with my hair which is starting to be messy..but I digress. God is good, all the time. When I think about his goodness, I’m in awe. Why do I let the daily grind keep me in stress mode? When I look at the bigger picture, I see how God has worked in my life. Never did I imagine that at this age I would me mom to the most wonderful boy and making it solo. In this crazy economy, I have changed jobs 3 times and each time I got a little more than I could have asked for. I have not only enjoyed my classes in the last two years, I have excelled in them. When you have God on your side you should be excited at the things he will do in your life. Even in the bad times, trust me, God is teaching you something, so listen and learn-fast. Don’t be wandering in the wilderness for 40 years like the Israelites did. Do you know it would have only taken about 11 days to get to the Promised Land? Allow God and his word to transform you to what he wants you to be. God I pray that I may give you the space and time for you to transform me, because I do not want to dwell in the desert, I want to reach the Promised Land. I’m not sure what life holds for me tomorrow but I can be sure to face it with confidence with you by my side.

Lord take this hurt

It hurts to think
It hurts to sleep
My dreams haunt me
My to be life extraordinaire
Now my nightmare

It hurts to love
It hurts to be hurt
My heart is broken
My to be life extraordinaire
Now just a crazy idea?

The things I liked
Are just passing me by
My God, how did I get here?
Did I loose sight,
Of what you desire my life to be?

The things I planned
Now just seem obscured
By all this hurt
Help me gain but a mustard seed
Size of faith to see the sun

If I know one thing
Is in You I have hope
I give you my hurt
Heal me Lord
Turn it into a blessing

In place of all the hurt
I accept your grace and pardon
For peace and joy are mine
And a new vision
To keep on loving

A sigh and an Amen

It seems nowadays that the only time I write is when I'm incredibly stressed out or something is going wrong. Well, Yes, I have a few things that need fixing. Before this very last straw I was overwhelmed with the work at school having my first classes, helping my son with homework, work etc. But yesterday, I had steam coming out of my ears when the after-school coordinator sent a note that I no longer had a spot since I did not make my payment on time.

Now, prior conversations with the principal had pointed out that there was a new system of after care since there were not enough spots and that we would receive information moving foward. The information that I got was that the 'informational' meeting was today but my son was kicked out yesterday for non-payment? Where do these people come from? I usually comb my son's folder of information as soon as he gets home from school. I did not have a single sheet of paper pointing out the fact that payment was due or what new system was in place but 'sorry, you have been put on the waiting list' is the response I'm getting from the school administration.
This is a load of crap and I'm pissed to the max. I'm so pissed I'm barely functional until I get this resolved.

Even my school work momentarily paled in comparison to this very minute yet important issue in my life.

I'm soo pissed because I know how unreasonable the principal can get, I dealt with this in an earlier post.

I'm trying to calm down and figure out what the best remedy is. Even in my anger, I have been praying, because some things can only be resolved by prayer and I'm so devoid of strength and mental energy right now that I need GOD to fight this one for me. Please Lord Jesus, I'm praying for a miracle for this seemingly small thing. I'm asking that as I speak to the principal, you will have already fought this one out for me today. Help me to be patient and rely on you for strength for today and tomorrow. Amen

You've got to pray............

If there is one positive thing about the madness that sometimes exists in my life, its that it keeps me praying. Because most days that is ALL I can do...PRAY. I have to say it works and it's less stressful. One year post divorce and I'm finally cutting the final cord, the jointly owned car has now been refinanced at a 1% lower interest rate than I'm currently paying. Some things you just know when God has a hand it in like this one.

I have a new job, quiting my old one after only a year because I was miserable. I believe you can work and be happy so despite the grim economy, my God provided.

I'm truly blessed. I'm happy. I'm surrounded by many wonderful friends who constantly remind me that there is more to life. I get sad though, more than ever nowadays because I miss my family. There have been many days this year when all I have wanted is to just sit and talk to my mom or get a hug from her, hang out with my siblings and enjoy being grown up and watch my dad playing with my son...all that priceless. I think I have to put prayer if full gear because by faith I'm going home for Christmas! Yes, I'm affirming it because I know my God is able.

My prayer now is to be a good mom, find some balance as my son goes through Kindergarten, some patience because God knows they can kill you with all that homework they give. Giving advice to a 5 year old is like talking to a brick wall because they seriously think they are grown up and can figure it out...lol.

Thank you Lord, I made it.