Lord take this hurt

It hurts to think
It hurts to sleep
My dreams haunt me
My to be life extraordinaire
Now my nightmare

It hurts to love
It hurts to be hurt
My heart is broken
My to be life extraordinaire
Now just a crazy idea?

The things I liked
Are just passing me by
My God, how did I get here?
Did I loose sight,
Of what you desire my life to be?

The things I planned
Now just seem obscured
By all this hurt
Help me gain but a mustard seed
Size of faith to see the sun

If I know one thing
Is in You I have hope
I give you my hurt
Heal me Lord
Turn it into a blessing

In place of all the hurt
I accept your grace and pardon
For peace and joy are mine
And a new vision
To keep on loving

Fallacy

Oh the idiots that make this world run, how would we live without them?
They provide drama, unquestionable lunacy
Entertain us while so proving their knowledge
But in the end, we know they just
Want to be wanted, needed, heard, understood - maybe
All the while projecting their insecurities
Trying to make others look bad
So they can look good
It might save some image, even get them one foot in
But it never cures the inside
See you cannot lie to yourself forever - I think
Unless totally disillusioned,
And then what a waste of life
Take heed if you encounter one, do not be fooled
Do not partake; let them roll in it - folly that is
Oh the narcissists of this world, if only you knew
The only place you are king, is in your own head!


This is an actual encounter with a narcissist, 1/12/2011

WHY

Why I’m I sinking all over again
Why I’m I crying all over again
Why do I have to go through this pain
Why the never-ending state of insane
Why is there no one to dry my tears
Why can’t I have an answer to my prayers
Why can’t I seem to ever get some peace
Why won’t all this madness cease
Why this loneliness Lord, please take it away
And in its place some courage for this day

The names you call

Is it possible that it blows my mind
Every time you disrespect
And names to call somehow find
Despite the disconnect

It makes no difference if I am kind
Or if I am correct
You spew bile and feel so inclined
My emotions to affect

To your insults, I am no longer blind
How dare your insecurities project
By names you call, I will not be defined
My integrity will protect

Make no mistake you will not keep me behind
I sit and reflect
On God’s plan refined
It is more than I could expect

Even though our lives are entwined
I know better than you suspect
I am a woman greatly designed
To a higher calling more perfect

Than in the names you call

Love at first sight?

When I first saw him, I knew
My stomach flipped and fluttered
My heart pumped ever so fast
Could this be?

When he spoke, I knew
My, oh my the confidence
Of his words ever so sweet
Could this be?

When he took my hand, I knew
That I would never be
Ever so content without him
Could this be?

When he kissed me, I knew
My, oh my the warmth
Of that not so subtle embrace
Could this be?

When I said goodbye, I knew
Of the ache that would come
With every passing thought
Could this be?

When I said goodbye, I knew
To dream is ordinary
But this was not mine
It wouldn’t be.

When I said goodbye, I knew
I would find it again
Just not in this moment
It wasn’t meant to be.

Think

Just when I think it’s over
Sinking deeper
Screaming louder
No help in sight

Just when I think I cannot make it
Treading in sorrow
Dreading tomorrow
No beam of light

Just when I think I’m forgotten
Amazing love
Streaming from above
I feel your might

Just when I think, I stop to think
Caring father
Loving master
It is all right!

I wrote this a while back but it made me smile today.