some wow stuff

The past week has been extremely amazing in so many ways. A lot of thoughts I haven’t put down lately.
First I know I’m so blessed to be surrounded by such loving people. I love my own company but I thrive on being around people and just enjoy being. So this past week has been more than magical with people graduating and so lots of get-togethers. There is nothing sweeter to the ears and eyes than a room full of people laughing, eating, kids cooing, just feeling the love all around. I look at my life just over a year ago which was so full of sadness and I know there is a God. Only God could have done this. I was so emotional this weekend. I spoke to my son’s father and it was not a very good 1 minute conversation rather accusatory at best and when I thought about it I kept crying, not because of what he said but because I was in such a better place in my life, that I was experiencing such unconditional love, that I was sharing some great life accomplishments with people who mean a lot to me and his comments to me faded in that light. It didn’t matter what he thought. It doesn’t matter anymore. I had that self-realization and it was so healthy but I couldn’t stop crying because it felt so good. I am living an answered prayer and he cannot take that away from me.
I ran into some old friends too. It’s such a thrill to meet someone you haven’t seen in years. You don’t even know what to say. My high school roommate, Lawd, it’s such a small world! We haven’t changed much in 10 years…ten friggin years!! Wow. It was nice to see them minus the uniform and just how fabulous everyone looks. My ex-bf….now this one was tough. I said I was ok but I was so uncomfortable. Truth is I loved and I mean looved the guy but broke up with him because I didn’t think he was on the same level. Just like that picked up the phone and said my peace. (I was 20 and amateur at this stuff but I imagine a phone break up is bad). I was really heartbroken. So since I found out he was coming, I hadn’t been thinking str8. He didn’t ask about my life, I didn’t volunteer..we did some chitchat and I wanted to break the ice but I didn’t have the guts…he’s gone and I guess that ship has sailed.sigh.. I thought I had worked on the coulda shouldas but I couldn’t sleep thinking what the best reaction shoulda been. In the least I hope I can mend some bridges.
This was my friend’s weekend, didn’t want to make about me, I may have in some way, darn it. Hey, I’m still a work in progress. I guess the best lesson I’ve learnt so far is to forgive myself, learn and move on.