Parenting pilgrimage

This past weekend I attended a parent seminar at our church titled appropriately “parents on pilgrimage”. Appropriate because parenting is a journey full of surprises, unexpected turns, growth, laughs and memories. As a worrier (yes, I mean worrier how I wish it was warrior), I’m constantly evaluating how my actions have impacted my child. It is a pretty heavy burden to think that another human being’s life is dependent upon me. The “me" that is so prone to messing up. I have made many poor decisions in my life, some that have impacted my child negatively. It grieves me when I think of those times and makes me feel so helpless.

As I have grown as a mom and spiritually, I have become more proactive in my parenting. It doesn’t mean that it has become easier, I still mess up. Pilgrimage means that I am still in motion dealing with phases of life that I had not encountered before. One of the takeaways from the message was that regardless of what has happened in our lives, there is no condemnation, wait what? Yes even in parenting– that is what our God is like. Isn’t it a relief to know that God cares about my situation? All the mistakes I’ve made as a mom, those are covered too. He wants the best for us and he is able cover with his grace those parts that we have messed up. It’s so humbling and so comforting.   The other important point was that God takes care of our children. To be honest, there are so many things that are out of our control which is the one reality that is changing me from worrier to prayer warrior. Our kids do not have to be messed up because we messed up. Sure, I left his dad under difficult circumstances, went through a depressive and difficult period. God is able to heal all of those hurts in us and in our children. He is able instill in us new ways of thinking, joy and peace. Sometimes our kids may get hurt by other people when we may not have had part in it, yet as a parent we blame ourselves that somehow we should have protected them.

Taking encouragement from a blogger (friend in my head) that I have followed for so long Serenity, I have in the last year been making an effort to get up at least half an hour earlier than usual to have my devotional. I pray for my family and I especially pray for my child. It hasn’t always happened but on days when I wake up and devote my family to God, he brings so much peace. When my lil man is gone away to spend time with his dad, I double up on the prayer-lol. True.  I pray for his other family. I pray for the circle of people that he will be exposed to. I know God is protecting him, but mostly what this has done is really change ME to see the bigger picture that God has for me and my child.

As I pray over the people in his life (some of whom have hurt me unspeakable), God has shown me that his love and grace is for all. It has really helped in my interactions with people and put peace in my life. When I feel like things will overwhelm me and I want to throw a pity party, I can draw from God’s promise that I have overcome. The enemy is real; he will want to keep you committed in a place of condemnation, guilt and helplessness.  I have been fearful lately of all the things my child could experience as he is approaching adolescence. The amount of garbage he is exposed to as a young child is nauseating. This is where I start to hyperventilate and worry. I have to remember to keep connected to the truth and the source of peace.

My goal this year is to pray over my child more than I ever have.  Praying that God gives me wisdom to parent, listen, have great intuition and help me pour into him wisdom that will build him up. Praying over people that will have influence in his life, for protection over him. Parenting is a gift and I’m so grateful for the opportunity to do it x2. I know the first thing I have to do is commit my children to the one who gifted them to me, knows all and has a PLAN for them. It’s so comforting isn’t it?