Instructions? Meh..

Yesterday I got home to find a sparkling clean kitchen.  My fiancé had come in and apparently decided to go to war with any dirty dish or speck of dirt. I was happy of course, but it seemed an odd task to take on a random Wednesday, so I asked what the motivation to clean was.  

My fiancé needed to fix his favorite watch as the seams were coming undone. Being the handy man he is, he decided he was going the super glue route. He had mentioned that earlier in the day, and with the ease that he said those words, I thought he had done this super glue thing. 

I was at the gym, the super glue was bought, the home depot version, not the corner store version. He proceeded to fix the seams of his watch and as he was doing it, some glue ran down his fingers...pause… I correct that, some SUPER glue ran down his fingers! This is where I OMGed, mouth open…

Instantly two of his fingers had meshed together, his skin became taut, so much so he could not open his curved hand. He said if felt like his hand was stiff and immobile. Then began the freak-out: He read the instructions on the super glue first: “do not let this get on your skin”. Ah, those darn instructions-too late! YouTube, Google, furiously scrubbing his fingers with the pumice stone…. If you have ever had even a drop of superglue on you, then you sympathize, because short of removing some skin, it really does the gluing in a super manner-pun intended. The tube instructions did mention something about keeping the affected surface in hot water.  So more scrubbing, peeling, then dishes, ah, what is a better way to keep your hand immersed than while washing dishes! 

I won’t even mention the part where he wondered if this was how it was all going to end, so he had put his phone on standby in case he started convulsing or gasping for air or some other crazy superglue induced malfunction. By the time I came home, it was a clean, calm house. Most of the super glue removed and normal hand functions restored.  

 I was laughing uncontrollably because the probable malfunctions being described to me could only happen during an alien invasion or in an episode of ‘Criminal Minds’. He survived and I think he learnt something about reading instructions first-maybe. Nah, this happens to be one of those experience first things. I’m glad we got it out of the way. 

Have a super day!

gift of motherhood

Lil man is turning 10 in a couple of days..10. I would like to say “Where did the time go?” which is so cliché, but for real, “Where did the time go?” How can I be a mom to a 10 year old? He has promptly notified me that he will be a tween (I guess pre-teen) and my heart is responding appropriately with muted panic. Last evening I watched him wash his hands and he put three pumps of the hand washing soap. Now, one pump is more than enough, I could understand two…but three pumps of the Trader Joe’s soap?  I asked him why he was using so much, the soap was obviously overflowing from his hand at this point. His answer: he needs three pumps as his hands have recently grown bigger, adding that as of last week he only needed two pumps but he has noticed that he now needs three pumps. LOL. At this point I should pick my battles, right? I mean he is washing his hands,  I may just have to buy soap more often. Maybe this is a metaphor that I should be comfortable with transitions. I have had two buy a brand new wardrobe just in six months because nothing fits anymore. For now, believe it or not, he still fits on my lap, or attempts to, which is funny as he is only 6 inches away from being my height (sigh). This reminds me that he is still my baby and I will treasure it as long as I can.

Lord thank you for this motherhood journey. I have learned so much about myself and about you. Thank you for the gift of a child. Help me raise him to be the person you have designed him to be.

Got confirmation?

When you pursue God and let him work in your life, you never know how he is going to bless your life. I had a chance meeting with someone I have not seen in 12 years. Turns out she moved into the city and we go to the same church, I just did not know what had become of her until yesterday. 

She is younger than me, I remember being on my way to college while she was still in elementary school. All these years later, we are like peers. I invited her for lunch and it is as if I had known her all my life- I have in essence, just never had a conversation with her. She spoke of her faith with such conviction and openness and brought such affirmation in my life.

I’ve been going through a tough time relationally and surrendering to God has been one of the hardest things I do, continually yielding to his will and prodding. Sometimes when I speak to people who are not concerned about the will of God, they affirm my humanity and make me feel like I’m overspiritualizing my life. Yet I know that God speaks in our life and nudges us, but  when I say, I don’t believe that God is leading me in a certain direction, it sounds crazy in this day and age. When speaking to this young woman, she spoke of repentance and yielding to God for her life and relationship.  I knew God was doing something there…yes he was saying: listen to my servant that I have sent to encourage you. Do not be disappointed by the state of affairs or follow in the leading of people who are not pursuing my will, be steadfast my child, I ‘m working in your life and in due time will reveal my plan for your life. 

Confirmation. Thank you Jesus!

"For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God" (Rom. 8:14).

Comfortable, ugh!

Life is such an oxymoron, we want to be comfortable but when we get there, we better watch out, it just might be that we are not progressing much. Let me explain. I will start with the minute. For the past one year I have been parking in an open lot at work. It’s about two and a half blocks from the office so not a big deal. Prior to my moving to the open lot, I parked 6 blocks away and I was on a waiting list for a parking garage that is literally a block from the office. Keeping in mind that these are wide city blocks, there are pros and cons to these parking arrangements. I always thought it would be great to get my blood moving in the morning, however, living in the Midwest makes the six blocks my winter nightmare.  Once it took me 20 horrid minutes because of ice, wind, snow.  That winter was relentless and I ended up having to go crazy and ask the powers that be that I must park closer, hands were twisted and I magically got a closer spot, not the garage I wanted but hey, it was good enough.

This summer, enough people retired at my job to open a spot up at the parking garage. Now you would think I would jump at this opportunity. See I was used to “my spot” on the open lot. I could go in and out without making useless rounds up and down a building. On the down side, cleaning buckets of snow off my car after work is not the thing I would rather do. It’s just plain annoying the tropical girl in me is not cut out for such fun. Parking garages on the other hand, having watched too many Criminal shows, seem to be an offender’s playpen.  I would have to take the elevator or Lord forbid the dingy stairs, walk around this interestingly lit building to find my car. The funny thing, the floors are almost always empty of people, it’s always one other person walking to their car and you. Or is it one crazy person waiting to pounce on you in the shadows of the garage? So I was scaring myself over having to move into the garage space. Unfounded fears.

When I really thought about it, I just did not want change. It seems minute but I was against change from the routine.. The most rational thing would be for me to park closer and park in an enclosed structure because after all we have winter for close to half the year. Something so minute, yet significant enough to make excuses for. Made me wonder what other things I rationalize keeping the same, not taking the available opportunities that happen. Sometimes in life we feel like if we work hard enough, do enough, sacrifice enough, we will get to a place of total bliss and comfort.  Hmm, it may be somewhat true of financial gains but if we go deeper, we are always growing as people and life constantly challenges us. We cannot be stagnant, we always have to be willing to change, be teachable, learn something that will propel us to another level physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

Spiritually, this has been eye opening for me. I thought once I became a Christian, it was like arriving to a destination but I have learnt that it is a journey of becoming. Growing, shedding and becoming the person God meant me to be. For a long time, I was spiritually parked in an open parking lot. Refusing to change, but the elements beat me up since I was so comfortable, comfortable with unpleasant snow cleanings and an iced car, when I could be elevated to a dry garage closer to work. In examining my life, I needed to shed some things, do things differently move to a different spot, open up to new people in my life. When I opened myself up to these possibilities, I found freedom waiting on the other side. When I’m true to the faith, I am liberated. When I tap into truth, I find grace. Though this process, I am finally beginning to understand how God manifests his love and grace and how it applies in my life. As Christian, the only comfort you should have is knowing that you are completely dependent on God. So if you are comfortable, examine yourself, it may just be that you are missing out on opportunities for growth.

A man grows most tired while standing still. - Chinese Proverb

To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often. - Winston Churchill

Romans 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

spiritual spotlight

The message this week was about the Carnal Mind based off of Romans 13. Talk about the hammer being brought down! This is a hard topic for both the preacher and the audience, not to mention rare and probably considered outdated. I don't ever recall hearing a sermon so painfully true, really something I would rather not think about YET so incredibly important and necessary for every Christian. I wish I had heard this sermon when I was 20, it probably would have saved me a ton of life's headaches..maybe. Carnal nature. I'm still pondering and reflecting. I found these incredible quotes summing up pretty much a lot of my Christian life...sigh. Talk about a spiritual spotlight. Thank you God for providing a servant who is willing to say the unpopular truth.

Carnal believers are moved easily. On one occasion they may be extremely excited an happy, on another occasion, very despondent and sad. In the happy moment they judge the world too small to contain them, and so they soar on wings to the heavens; but in the moment of sadness they conclude that the world has had enough of them and will be glad to be rid of them... their lives are susceptible to constant changes for they are governed by their emotions.-Watchman Nee

Though all Christians possess a regenerated spirit, not all Christians are spiritual. Many are still fleshly. Their carnal mind is still full of wandering thoughts, reasons and plans; their emotion runs wild with many carnal interests, desires and tendencies; and their will formulates many worldly judgements, arguments and opinions. They are so occupied in following the flesh that they have neither time nor inclination to listen to the voice of intuition. Since the voice of the spirit is usually very soft, it cannot be heard unless it is listened to attentively with everything else quieted.-Watchman Nee

A real spiritual life is never dominated by, nor lived in, feeling. Rather does it regulate feeling. Nowadays Christians mistake a life of feeling for spiritual experience. This is because many have never entered into genuine spirituality and hence interpret happy sensation to be spiritual experience.-Watchman Nee

 A fleshly/carnal life will corrupt morals, weaken personal relationships, produce doubt about God and His Word, destroy prayer life and provide fertile ground for heresy.-John MacArthur 

God may allow His servant to succeed when He has disciplined him to a point where he does not need to succeed to be happy. The man who is elated by success and is cast down by failure is still a carnal man. At best his fruit will have a worm in it. A.W. Tozer

Romans 13: 11-14
¹¹ And do this, understanding the present time: The hour has already come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. ¹² The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. ¹³ Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. ¹⁴ Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh.^[c] 

NOW past THEN

The question is, does it really matter now whether I said yes or no to a plan months ago? Suppose I said YES, would that have solved our problems? We would still have basic/fundamental problems lingering wouldn’t we? Suppose I said NO months ago, then does it really matter now? At the end of the day, isn’t what I say TODAY the most important thing? Whether I said yes or no, if we are looking for a way forward, it’s about now. But if you are looking to be right about months ago then the past is most important. But does that make the now or the future brighter? You are too hurt and stuck on the past that my saying yes NOW means nothing to you, which only follows then that I mean nothing to you NOW.