trusting

When I started this blog, it was a place of healing that was important for me to make sense of who I was and where I was going. I've now realized how therapeutic writing is to me and when I'm feeling overwhelmed, happy, sad etc I write; on a word document, journal and sometimes it makes it here. I've really grown as a person and most importantly, I clearly see God's imprint on my life and why he allowed me to go through some very difficult situations.

Alas I'm not done growing. Most recently I've just been sensing God letting me know that he has a plan for me that's bigger than I. It sounds weird but I feel God's nudging for me to 'wake' up and be an intentional christian, pursue him earnestly and have faith. I say wake up because lately I've been preoccupied with how 'I' can change my life. I switched jobs, going back to school and feeling good about myself for doing these things. God is telling me that it is not about me. It's about him and I need to put him first and everything else will come together.

God knows my passion for making a difference in people anyway I can through knowledge, science, healthcare. I'm struggling right now because even though I work in the clinical realm of things, I still feel like I'm not doing what I need to be doing. I'm trusting God that as I start this public health degree, that he will open the doors and windows that I need and may his will be done in that process. I'm taking up a global concentration, which means doing an internship abroad(Kenya of course!). I need God to work out the logistics of that experience since I'm still working full time. I have a dream to work globally not only in Kenya but especially in Kenya. There are just so many opportunities and needs to be met. I could probably start at home in the local community hospital that largely shaped my career path. I've also realized the opportunities to serve right here in Chicago and praying God that I do not get pre-occupied planning my exit that I miss what it is he wants me to do here.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5

"God can't give us peace and happiness apart from himself because there is no such thing." C.S.Lewis