I miss home and that is an understatement. There are many times in my stay far away when it hurts at how far I am. Days like today I just want someone else to take over. I don't want to be it anymore, I would just like someone else to make the decisions, worry about my son's school, health, someone else to worry about my car, my school. Some days like these I don't want to be grown up. I wish I could pack up all my shit and move into my parents home for a couple months and not have to think literally.
I'm not depressed, I've been there, maybe lonely and a bit overwhelmed by my life. This is a paradox because my life is going relatively well. I've just been accepted into my master's program, got financial aid, my son is in a great school, I have a man who loves and supports me. Then there is the everyday stuff, like my car maintenance light comes on and I know I need to make an appointment to get it checked, and I worry it might be more than an oil change. My son has a cavity and needs it filled and I have to find a good pediatric dentist and decide the appropriate meds during the procedure, nitrous oxide, local anesthesia, not to mention the cost, argh, it hurts my head thinking about it. Then there is school, which I'm excited about but I have to pick classes, decide how many to take, go for orientation...How about the upcoming springbreak, what are we going to do to make it fun? I wanted to travel but tickets are too dang expensive. Some days I wish I didn't have so many decisions resting on me, I need a way to outsource...lol. Maybe I just a good cup of tea and mandazi and life will be good again with lots of company, with my family..oh I miss them.
