Got confirmation?

When you pursue God and let him work in your life, you never know how he is going to bless your life. I had a chance meeting with someone I have not seen in 12 years. Turns out she moved into the city and we go to the same church, I just did not know what had become of her until yesterday. 

She is younger than me, I remember being on my way to college while she was still in elementary school. All these years later, we are like peers. I invited her for lunch and it is as if I had known her all my life- I have in essence, just never had a conversation with her. She spoke of her faith with such conviction and openness and brought such affirmation in my life.

I’ve been going through a tough time relationally and surrendering to God has been one of the hardest things I do, continually yielding to his will and prodding. Sometimes when I speak to people who are not concerned about the will of God, they affirm my humanity and make me feel like I’m overspiritualizing my life. Yet I know that God speaks in our life and nudges us, but  when I say, I don’t believe that God is leading me in a certain direction, it sounds crazy in this day and age. When speaking to this young woman, she spoke of repentance and yielding to God for her life and relationship.  I knew God was doing something there…yes he was saying: listen to my servant that I have sent to encourage you. Do not be disappointed by the state of affairs or follow in the leading of people who are not pursuing my will, be steadfast my child, I ‘m working in your life and in due time will reveal my plan for your life. 

Confirmation. Thank you Jesus!

"For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God" (Rom. 8:14).

Comfortable, ugh!

Life is such an oxymoron, we want to be comfortable but when we get there, we better watch out, it just might be that we are not progressing much. Let me explain. I will start with the minute. For the past one year I have been parking in an open lot at work. It’s about two and a half blocks from the office so not a big deal. Prior to my moving to the open lot, I parked 6 blocks away and I was on a waiting list for a parking garage that is literally a block from the office. Keeping in mind that these are wide city blocks, there are pros and cons to these parking arrangements. I always thought it would be great to get my blood moving in the morning, however, living in the Midwest makes the six blocks my winter nightmare.  Once it took me 20 horrid minutes because of ice, wind, snow.  That winter was relentless and I ended up having to go crazy and ask the powers that be that I must park closer, hands were twisted and I magically got a closer spot, not the garage I wanted but hey, it was good enough.

This summer, enough people retired at my job to open a spot up at the parking garage. Now you would think I would jump at this opportunity. See I was used to “my spot” on the open lot. I could go in and out without making useless rounds up and down a building. On the down side, cleaning buckets of snow off my car after work is not the thing I would rather do. It’s just plain annoying the tropical girl in me is not cut out for such fun. Parking garages on the other hand, having watched too many Criminal shows, seem to be an offender’s playpen.  I would have to take the elevator or Lord forbid the dingy stairs, walk around this interestingly lit building to find my car. The funny thing, the floors are almost always empty of people, it’s always one other person walking to their car and you. Or is it one crazy person waiting to pounce on you in the shadows of the garage? So I was scaring myself over having to move into the garage space. Unfounded fears.

When I really thought about it, I just did not want change. It seems minute but I was against change from the routine.. The most rational thing would be for me to park closer and park in an enclosed structure because after all we have winter for close to half the year. Something so minute, yet significant enough to make excuses for. Made me wonder what other things I rationalize keeping the same, not taking the available opportunities that happen. Sometimes in life we feel like if we work hard enough, do enough, sacrifice enough, we will get to a place of total bliss and comfort.  Hmm, it may be somewhat true of financial gains but if we go deeper, we are always growing as people and life constantly challenges us. We cannot be stagnant, we always have to be willing to change, be teachable, learn something that will propel us to another level physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

Spiritually, this has been eye opening for me. I thought once I became a Christian, it was like arriving to a destination but I have learnt that it is a journey of becoming. Growing, shedding and becoming the person God meant me to be. For a long time, I was spiritually parked in an open parking lot. Refusing to change, but the elements beat me up since I was so comfortable, comfortable with unpleasant snow cleanings and an iced car, when I could be elevated to a dry garage closer to work. In examining my life, I needed to shed some things, do things differently move to a different spot, open up to new people in my life. When I opened myself up to these possibilities, I found freedom waiting on the other side. When I’m true to the faith, I am liberated. When I tap into truth, I find grace. Though this process, I am finally beginning to understand how God manifests his love and grace and how it applies in my life. As Christian, the only comfort you should have is knowing that you are completely dependent on God. So if you are comfortable, examine yourself, it may just be that you are missing out on opportunities for growth.

A man grows most tired while standing still. - Chinese Proverb

To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often. - Winston Churchill

Romans 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

spiritual spotlight

The message this week was about the Carnal Mind based off of Romans 13. Talk about the hammer being brought down! This is a hard topic for both the preacher and the audience, not to mention rare and probably considered outdated. I don't ever recall hearing a sermon so painfully true, really something I would rather not think about YET so incredibly important and necessary for every Christian. I wish I had heard this sermon when I was 20, it probably would have saved me a ton of life's headaches..maybe. Carnal nature. I'm still pondering and reflecting. I found these incredible quotes summing up pretty much a lot of my Christian life...sigh. Talk about a spiritual spotlight. Thank you God for providing a servant who is willing to say the unpopular truth.

Carnal believers are moved easily. On one occasion they may be extremely excited an happy, on another occasion, very despondent and sad. In the happy moment they judge the world too small to contain them, and so they soar on wings to the heavens; but in the moment of sadness they conclude that the world has had enough of them and will be glad to be rid of them... their lives are susceptible to constant changes for they are governed by their emotions.-Watchman Nee

Though all Christians possess a regenerated spirit, not all Christians are spiritual. Many are still fleshly. Their carnal mind is still full of wandering thoughts, reasons and plans; their emotion runs wild with many carnal interests, desires and tendencies; and their will formulates many worldly judgements, arguments and opinions. They are so occupied in following the flesh that they have neither time nor inclination to listen to the voice of intuition. Since the voice of the spirit is usually very soft, it cannot be heard unless it is listened to attentively with everything else quieted.-Watchman Nee

A real spiritual life is never dominated by, nor lived in, feeling. Rather does it regulate feeling. Nowadays Christians mistake a life of feeling for spiritual experience. This is because many have never entered into genuine spirituality and hence interpret happy sensation to be spiritual experience.-Watchman Nee

 A fleshly/carnal life will corrupt morals, weaken personal relationships, produce doubt about God and His Word, destroy prayer life and provide fertile ground for heresy.-John MacArthur 

God may allow His servant to succeed when He has disciplined him to a point where he does not need to succeed to be happy. The man who is elated by success and is cast down by failure is still a carnal man. At best his fruit will have a worm in it. A.W. Tozer

Romans 13: 11-14
¹¹ And do this, understanding the present time: The hour has already come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. ¹² The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. ¹³ Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. ¹⁴ Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh.^[c] 

NOW past THEN

The question is, does it really matter now whether I said yes or no to a plan months ago? Suppose I said YES, would that have solved our problems? We would still have basic/fundamental problems lingering wouldn’t we? Suppose I said NO months ago, then does it really matter now? At the end of the day, isn’t what I say TODAY the most important thing? Whether I said yes or no, if we are looking for a way forward, it’s about now. But if you are looking to be right about months ago then the past is most important. But does that make the now or the future brighter? You are too hurt and stuck on the past that my saying yes NOW means nothing to you, which only follows then that I mean nothing to you NOW.

OMG

Since it’s the start of the school year, the kid’s leader at church thought they would discuss some school stuff. So after church we re-capped what went on.

 Leader: What do you hope to accomplish this school year?

Lil Man: Well…the 5^th graders have been beating us as kickball and I want us to win. I hope we can win the next time.

Blink, blink.. trying not to burst out laughing but composing myself, thank God I was driving. 

Me (seriously): So how about something academic,  what you hope to accomplish?

Lil Man: Well Mommy, recess is part of school so winning kickball is important.

End of conversation while I laugh and cry at the same time. Is anyone else’s kid obsessed with recess? Should I be concerned? I'm investigating "How to make Math, Science and other school work as fun as kickball" ASAP.

dear fourth grade, be nice

On the fourth day of school, I asked my lil man how things were going.  I was expecting some positives seeing as we have a nice teacher, no homework. “School is not fulfilling anymore…” Hmm, that caught me off-guard wondering whether to first clarify the meaning of ‘fulfilling’ or ask why it wasn’t.  “They just keep coming up with rules. First It was the STAR position, now we have to tuck in our shirts including gym shirts….”. The STAR position is some acronym for sitting upright and tracking the teacher and I clearly don’t remember what it stands for. My son demonstrated it with shoulders held unnaturally high and straight neck; I could see why he wasn’t surviving the day. I asked him to relax his shoulders a bit.  I agree, it is becoming a bit ‘military’, I mean untucked shirt has nothing to do with learning eh? He’s lucky he wasn’t around when I was growing up-, unpolished shoes (yikes), slightly unkempt nails, hair that was not in place, uniform that wasn’t pressed crisp among a myriad of other unrelated issues could earn you a proper punishment.  We all thought it was part of school life. I don’t know how much good that did, I hate ironing, don’t ever polish my shoes, the only school approved hair style in my day(cornrows) puts me in anxiety,  I do my nails real nice though.

How do you keep a fourth-grade boy motivated?  This morning, he was excited that he had Gym and since it had rained all night, the default outdoor activity would be kickball due to a flooded playground. “I’m glad it rained because I have my good shoes on for kickball”. See, on a regular day when there is no Gym and it rains, his dress-up shoes are not conducive to a good kickball session. My son lives for recess. It’s a phase right? I mean he gets good grades; I guess that is more than I can ask for. 

When asked what in math he finds difficult, he said “nothing” (initially) and that he doesn’t really know what he hopes to learn this year. After mini-session on ‘we all have things we could polish up on’, the answer changed to fractions, but he was adamant that he didn’t find any math difficult, just did not find anything fun about it. I beg to differ remembering countless homework wrangles that we had last year-undermining my traditional learning methods, counting beans and what not over some new era rounding off methods. If this boy did not learn any more math moving forward he would be ok with life. I guess that is why I’m the parent and he is the kid. I don’t remember having ideas about school or otherwise but I was scared cold of becoming a farm hand-because that’s what you became around my parts if school came in one ear and out the other.  There were no options to school and doing well in school. You knew better than answer that recess is your favorite part of the day, there was a right answer to that question, no need putting your opinion or dreams in the path of your future.  So I’m trying to be a parent of the future without veering too far off the more trodden path, balancing opinions and necessity. Lord help me.