This weekend was a reminder of how fragile and short life is. To live to the fullest, love to the fullest while we can.
I lost my aunt this past weekend. But she was more than just my aunt, she was the mother of all, being married to the oldest sibling from my dad's side of the family. Even though I never spent much time taking or listening to her in my growing up years, I surprisingly had more of a connection in the last 10 years when I have been away from home. She was supportive of my decision to end my marriage, which came as a surprise to me, because she listened to me, asked for my opinions and then let me know that everything was going to be ok. That was four years ago. I saw her last in December during her son's wedding. She had been so busy planning I barely got time to visit with her. I had plans work with her when I finally return home, in the health clinic that they started, but I never mentioned it. I will remember her as a strong woman who held her family together despite many obstacles. They were married 50 years.
I didn't cry because for some reason I couldn't. Later in the day my sister sent me a text saying that my parents and brother had been involved in an accident. From her words I could tell she was trying to keep it calm so I do not panic. It worked for a couple of hours, again in denial mode. During bedtime, I told my son that we would pray for my brother because he had been injured in an accident. He surprised me by busting into tears that his uncle was hurt. He is only 6 and I felt bad that maybe I hadn't communicated it in child-appropriated language.
That is when it hit me and I cried. I hadn't cried in a long time so I cried all the tears from missing my parents, to being overwhelmed with work and now school to the anxiety from what I did not know. I called home and my mother assured me that God had been all that in that accident. No one was hurt except for my brother who injured his nose but was treated and discharged. Considering it was a head on collision, God is great.
Thank you God for reminding me of your grace, power, love in this difficult moment.
1 comment:
I'm sorry about your aunt. That's sad.
I read a little of your blog and it's been cool to get inside your head a little....I know you don't get a chance to talk as much as some of us "loud mouths" at small group, but just for you to know: I wish you got more of a chance! It sounds like missing your family has been a huge part of your life as well as battling the balance between loving your son/wanting what is best for him and also wanting a break/needing some outside support. I know we're not next door, but he's welcome over here anytime! Sammy and Claire think he's very cool. :)
And maybe we could get coffee sometime because I'd love to hear more about your time back home and what you're thinking about,
Susan
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