Today I mourn:my relationship, love, a dream, a lifetime deferred. God, I was so not prepared for this. I went from being ecstatic about a lifetime to being completely deflated by the disappointment, never ending excuses and eventually the bitter reality.
Today I mourn for my son, for the life that he thought he would have, and the expectations that he has held. My heart just breaks for him so much. How could I let him love someone who would disappoint him then distance himself? How could I, what kind of mother does that…twice? Can I ever forgive myself?
Today I mourn for my parents, for the trouble they have had to go through and for the pain that they bear on my behalf. They wish me well and it’s so hard for them to see me keep falling over and over again. I thank God for their support and wisdom..yes, mostly wisdom even when I didn’t notice it, I realize now how wise they have been.
Tomorrow, maybe tomorrow, I will mourn for me.
No comments:
Post a Comment