I’ve been feeling so blessed and wanting to blog about it for the past week. Not because my life is going superbly well, on the contrary, there is still a ton of madness going in my life, lot of uncertainties. But somehow the divine power has been able to still my soul to see beyond these circumstances and revel in the blessings. I don’t know how, in fact I’ve been holding my breath wondering if this is something temporary. There are a few things I can pinpoint in my life that have really helped me grow to this realization and attitude towards life.
I have been reading Iyanla’s book, “In the Meantime”. I read it in portions because it’s a lil deep and a sista needs the time to ruminate on the content. I have had a few hallelujah moments while reading this book and it has been very practical in my life. “Honoring, respecting and supporting myself by believing I can achieve what I want without compromising my values”, is a theme that Iyanla explores in the beginning chapters and I wouldn’t do it justice paraphrasing it. I’ve tried to explain to couple of my friends, it seems like ‘life and love 101’ but so hard to explain. I just know I got it, my light bulb moment!
I have also spent a considerable amount of time honoring relationships in my life. I thrive in company and really enjoy spending time with friends and family. But when I was going through the rough road, I withdrew partly because I was ashamed of my situation, held pity parties for myself and mostly because I just didn’t feel good enough to establish new relationships or keep up with the old ones. I didn’t feel confident to share who I was and I didn’t even know who I had become. So I just sat at home.
That has changed considerably. My motivation being my lil man; to find a family of friends where he and I could belong and share. It was important for me to see my son thrive in a community of loving relationships. My immediate family is far, so my friends are my family. It has taken a lot to come out of my comfort zone. I wanted my son to see that life goes on. He knows the circle of people we hang around, knows that they love him, that they respect his mom. This past weekend was spent doing just that, hanging out with friends. Really that is all we did. We ate, hang out, laughed, enjoyed each other’s company, and supported our friends who have had great accomplishments. Nae, if you read this, I’m so proud of you. I spoke to my sis and encouraged her before she begins her first teaching intership. She is brilliant and I'm so proud. I’m so proud to know all the people I know in my life. I still don’t put myself out there as much as I would want to trust people and all but I think I will crawl on this no need to start running.
I could rant about all the bad in my life but I won’t, I think its good every now and then to let it be. Anything negative I can change, I am putting effort to do that the best way I know how and then there are those things that I just can’t change. When was I ever this positive on a Wednesday?
No comments:
Post a Comment