support in finding the truth

Yesterday was the one year anniversary of my being in a support group. Now anytime I heard the words support group prior, I got a mental picture of very disturbed people sitting in a circle echoing the words “My name is…and I am an alcoholic”. The first place I sought support was an online community where I posted anonymously and received feedback that really pushed me to the next level. I didn’t think I was ever going to go face to face with strangers about my issues. About a year ago in deep distress, I sought a place where people would understand what I was going through and where I was coming from. I needed validation that what I was experiencing was not out of this world and that I could overcome it. This ministry (yes it is church-based) has been the most influential and critical part of who I am today. The values expressed here are that no one should experience any type of abuse be it physical, emotional, psychological, verbal, spiritual or financial and if we have, how to overcome and better yet how to equip ourselves so we avoid the same circumstances. For example setting healthy boundaries with the people in your life. The ability to say no and keep from pleasing people. It sounds like life 101 and it really is a class I wish I had taken in college. I always say that I would have benefited greatly if I had such a resource when I was 20. Back then I would have thought that was a joke because I thought I had it all figured out.

It’s about knowing the truth and the truth is what really will set you free. The reason why I sought a Christian support group is because I grew up with Christian values some of which became my entanglement and I really wanted to figure out where I needed to draw the line. For many Christians, instead of church/Christianity/religion empowering you and freeing you, it enslaves us to tradition and practice that are not part of the true message of the Bible. This was my first weak point in that someone used the Bible and because I followed tradition and not the truth, I’m in a place where I am. I am conscious know of how eagerly people will play the Christian card to suit their purposes.

There is something powerful about sitting in a room and knowing that everyone there to some degree has been in the same situation and no amount of knowledge or sympathy can replace the depth of that experience. It’s a place where you can vent without feeling judged and can receive feedback from people who know the struggle. Everyone is at a different stage some struggling, some trying to maintain that balance in life but it’s about bouncing off ideas that work and creating a resource. The empowering aspect is spending time with women who have overcome their fears and insecurities, others who are in the midst of it all and struggling, still others who don’t know about these issues even though they are in the midst of them and are trying to figure it all out. I can see myself in all those women. When I hear someone stuck at the beginning wondering if they are going mad, I can see myself there a year ago. So even though I doubt myself at times, I know I have come far and I can trace the progress.

The group leader has let me know that I’m not the same woman they met; I have grown spiritually and emotionally. I am so empowered that when someone suggested a support group for parents going through a divorce I did not hesitate and this has proven to be a great resource as well.

Outside my support group I have also found support in numerous other places by just aligning my values or experiences with others, sometimes talking about them. Simply by adjusting my radar, being informed, I have met and made connections with phenomenal women and men who I would not have otherwise.

I wish in a way this could be applied to the rest of my life, support group for procrastinators or people who fall in love with their shoes, or people who want quality meals in the shortest time possible…actually I think I have Rachel Ray for that, what about formalizing the support group a lot of us women belong to..the one for women who need a truly loving man but can’t find him usually occurring as a b!tch session with my girlfriends, I have digressed…let me stop before I kill this post.

Truth is I’m glad for all the experiences I have had in my life. I’m grateful for all the women who through their struggle have empowered me and helped me be a better person.