Narcissism at its best

Some people take too much energy to deal with such as the ex-husband. I’m not a hater by any means. I have moved on, but we do co-parent and as such I have to make the best of the interaction. I have researched Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and I will not attempt to label anyone as such, they are doing a great job living it out. As found in wikipedia, narcissism to the extreme results in NPD. NPD is considered to result from a “person’s belief that he or she is flawed in a way that makes the person fundamentally unacceptable to others. This belief is held below the person’s conscious awareness; such a person would typically deny thinking such a thing if questioned. In order to protect themselves against the intolerably painful rejection and isolation they imagine would follow if others recognized their supposedly defective nature, such people make strong attempts to control others’ view of them and behavior towards them”.

The following list is also found in wikipedia, to summarise the characteristics of NPD. It has to be a pattern not isolated incidents:

• has a grandiose sense of self-importance
• is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
• believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by other special people
• requires excessive admiration
• strong sense of entitlement
• takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
• lacks empathy
• is often envious or believes others are envious of him or her
• arrogant affect.

Yesterday I made an attempt to communicate to the ex. He proved that NO form of communication can exist between this man and I. It will wring every bit of energy out of you. It’s a little scary, he has some form of psychological condition that I will not bother to diagnose ( I do have a hunch). He will lie, manipulate and intimidate to get his way or preserve his ‘image’. I mean this man can lie… bold faced lies that can only be interpreted to mean that he thinks you are dumb. Image is everything to him, he wants me to know how important he is at work, at church (yes church!) and that he has material wealth. He is known to throw out the words, blackberry at unnecessary moments, or “I’m going to write you an email right now on my laptop”…Yeah, kwani how else are emails sent? Just wants me to know he has acquired a new laptop. He is obsessed with the idea of success. He is obsessed with ideal love; he has a hard time figuring out why I would possibly leave him. He believes that he deserves special treatment and lives by arrogance. He lacks empathy at all levels, if he needs anything he will intimidate, and of course lie to no end. He believes that I’m envious of him…lol, far from it. In view of all this you would ask, “What did you ever see in this man?” Trust me; this is the million dollar question I ask myself everyday. Life can only be understood backwards, but must be lived forward (Soren Kierkgaard). I have only become wiser.